Sunday, May 5, 2013
Mother's Day 2013 is not Today
It's a windy and rainy day here. Most likely if the mothers were still alive, we would have them here, sitting in front of a fire and fixing them lunch and dinner. Then we would give them a few presents. My mother liked pretty things, while my MIL liked practical things. No mothers are around anymore for us.
I can look back and remember them so well when they were bustling about and not infirm, crippled by age and illness. Sometimes, flashbacks happen, and I am transported back to when my mother would read to me, take me on scientific collecting trips, help me with homework, and console me when I was anxious about something. Or she will come to me in dreams, in which I am helping her. I can recall her in those moments as if she never left.
With my MIL dying so recently, I have thought many times of her over the past two months. I see so many things that she did for her daughter. Her pressed tablecloths are still in the linen closet, wrapped in wax paper. Nearly everyday, we come across something that reminds us of her. And yet, the sadness of loss is being replaced with wistful thoughts of what used to be.
The loss of parents is a reminder of my own aging which I have been feeling more and more of late. I can still physically do a lot, but I have a sense that the days are slipping by too quickly. I am considered middle aged now. I saw what aging did to my parents and has done to my in-laws. Thankfully, my parents died suddenly without a prolonged illness. My MIL and FIL were not so lucky.
I don't feel like giving in to aging but realize that the things I used to do all day cause me to ache some now. I gave up running because it began to hurt too much. And I have more of a desire to simply relax now and not push myself to do more. I am certainly conscious of my age. I understand now when my mother told me that she still felt as if she were 25 on the inside. But for me, there are days that I feel my age on the inside too.
So today I'm wishing for all the mothers that there is some happiness in knowing that you are loved. Inside the core of every child, there is a bond with the one who gave us life, no matter what the actions or words of the child may be. I hope that you enjoy your day, do something good for yourself, and realize that you are a very special person.
“But there's a story behind everything. How a picture got on a wall. How a scar got on your face. Sometimes the stories are simple, and sometimes they are hard and heartbreaking. But behind all your stories is always your mother's story, because hers is where yours begin.” ― Mitch Albom