Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A December baby

Yesterday was my father's birthday.  Every year since I began blogging, I have written something about him on his birthday.  Yesterday, I decided to sit with the feelings of missing him and think about the good times we had together.

As I decorated the tree,  I put up the old ornaments that we had when I was a child.  Some of them have been broken, but there are enough to take me back to putting up the tree and all the excitement about Christmas I felt years ago.  My father loved Christmas, maybe because it was his birth month; but I also think that he liked giving and receiving presents. He was sentimental about many things.

I miss him.  I miss family who died this past year.  My father has been dead over 25 years now. But I remember him clearly. I have a few regrets from the years when he was drinking. I believe that he knew in later life how much I loved him and respected him.  He and I are alike in many ways: bluntness, impatience, love of animals, tender hearted, conflicted, respectful, controlling.   Our alikeness may explain why we butted heads so much when I was younger. I didn't like his trying to control me and that's because I had an issue with control too.  As they say, "if you spot it, you've got it."

I know that this is a difficult time of year for so many. So many reminders of what used to be.  We decided to just keep it simple and not have an open house this year. We are going to cook our meal for Christmas Day and be together. And I'll be thinking about my parents, my wife's parents, and all the other family members who are gone. I don't want to dwell on the sadness, but lightly touch on happy memories.

Today my memory is of a day old baby being loved by his mother as his sisters went about the house hold chores. I imagine the neighbors stopped by the farm to see the son born to my grandparents. A December baby born on a snowy day. An early present. Happy birthday, Dad.


  1. Very beautiful, Syd. My father-in-law was a December baby as well. Day after Christmas. I always made sure to make him his own cake, separate from Christmas celebrations. He appreciated that.
    It is good to have the memories of the sweet times. I think time can eventually erode some of those other memories which keep us stuck in the past. That's a good thing. And I think it will be a good thing for you and your wife to have your own Christmas this year. You will be able to feel and act the way you want with each other's company your only company. It's been a hard year for you. Keep it simple.

  2. the holidays are becomes easy to see who is no longer there at the table....sorry you are missing your dad but i am glad that you have memories of him that are good as well...even the butting of heads...we all have some growing up to do no matter our age....

    enjoy your holidays syd

  3. Great photos and great memories to hold on to.

  4. Beautiful Syd. I wonder if your dad drank because it helped him to numb all that he felt, because it sounds like he felt life deeply.

  5. Such a heart-warming memory, Syd. Your father's joy the day you were born.

    Spectacular header image, by the way.

  6. Such a good post it made me think of my dad. Like yours he left too early. My father died almost 31 years ago. I was 27 at the time. Over the years I have felt much like you but I have also come to believe my father is no longer gone. I have found he now lives inside of me and I can call on him any time.

    I know it has been a tough year for you and C. My holiday wish for you is a day of peace where reflections dwell on the positive and gifts of your loved ones and not on the loss.

  7. Happy holidays, Syd. I remember the loved ones who are gone, too, this time of year. You are not alone. Thanks for still reading and commenting on my spartan blog postings.

    Love you, buddy!


  8. Wow, Syd, your photos are dazzling--that sunset is glorious! But your words really touched me as I've had some losses this year, too, and want to embrace the season gently, remembering the good memories and not staring at the bad. And your post about your father, with yes, the good, the bad and the ugly, reminded me to love my own father, who is showing signs of dementia, changing him from the kind and gentle man he used to be. I can choose to honor and love him instead of getting so irritated, because he won't be around forever. Thanks for your blog and for sharing what's real.

  9. Thanks Syd for your share. To be able to remember the past and be able to let go of it is one of the gifts I have received in Alanon.
    Happy Holidays

  10. How lovely that you take time to write about your dad, with each passing year, on his birthday. You are inspirational, Syd!


  11. Beautiful post, thank you. Remembering the good memories are important of our loved ones, I work towards this everyday.

  12. Just got around to reading this - lovely post thanks.

    My Dad's birthday was 9th Dec. I still always remember him on that day - he sadly died just after my 22nd birthday in 1984 which means I've been without him much more of my life now than I had with him.

  13. Syd, you always write the most insightful posts. I miss my dad, too. I wish I'd had a better relationship with him, but we had such trust issues between us (not to mention my mother, who always wanted me on her side).

    Have a wonderful Christmas with your wife. We're all missing someone this year. Too many, in fact. Peace, D


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