Telling what it's like to work on recovering from the effects of alcoholism through Al-Anon
Saturday, March 14, 2015
Taking time to breathe
Time has slipped away from me once again in a string of days. I am having the time of my life. Not being in a demanding job has freed me up in a lot of ways. I'm no longer scheduled in my life. Blogging used to be on a schedule of a daily write. I don't feel the need to do that anymore. And I don't feel guilty. Well....maybe a little because I wonder what each of you is doing and if you are okay.
My hobbies of sailing and riding and working out at the gym keep me physically fit and sane. My service in Al-Anon keeps me spiritually fit in a compassionate and humble way. And I have the usual life stuff to do like car maintenance, yard work, gardening, house chores--I hate calling them honey do's because I live here and share the house with an amazing person so I am glad to do my part in our partnership.
I love everything I do, but I also need time to not do anything and just be. The boat is my best escape for that. No people around--just me, the waves and the wind. If I don't get that time to myself, then I can feel the gypsy soul take over. I need the recharge time to be the free spirit that I now embrace.
Having been a driven scientist for decades, I hardly know that person now. Who was that guy? He thought that what he was working on was the most important thing. He had to publish a certain number of papers every year and get multiple grants. He had to do a lot of administrative BS that felt like sheer drudgery. He sat in an office overlooking a beautiful harbor and hardly ever looked out the window. Most every day, he was tied to the computer, analyzing data and writing. It was hard to shake off the harness and simply be free. Add to that the stress of living with an alcoholic, and life was not a lot of fun.
I now take time to breathe. I have space in my life now. I make the space and the time to do what I feel is good for my mental and spiritual health. I don't know how long I will have the stamina to keep sailing, riding, and cross train. I am hoping that I have at least 20 good years left. But I don't know about any of that. I just have this day that's ahead of me. And it seems good and filled with promise.
I hope that you have some breathing room in your life. Some time to just be and refuel your purpose and your spirit.