Well, today I am securely into middle age. I slept late this morning. The rain has been pouring since the wee hours. Now, the skies have cleared, but the wind is strong and cold coming from the north.
C and I had a nice breakfast together. I am going to head to the barn for a while to see my horse. Later, I am going to roast some oysters for my birthday, have some ribs and celebrate with our handyman who comes out every Sunday to help out. We have known him for over 25 years, and have come to see him as family now.
I thought about how much I miss my parents, C's parents, and all my other relatives who aren't here, except in spirit. I'm not sad today, just reflecting on the happy times of past birthdays. And I heard from some of my oldest friends whom I have known since elementary school. It is a source of comfort to know that some of my long-time best friends are still around, running half marathons, celebrating grandchildren, and working their farms or businesses. There is stability in that knowledge.
I am planning for this to be a lazy day. I am one year older. I feel the same.
"Try to imagine a life without timekeeping. You probably can’t. You know the month, the year, the day of the week. There is a clock on your wall or the dashboard of your car. You have a schedule, a calendar, a time for dinner or a movie. Yet all around you, timekeeping is ignored. Birds are not late. A dog does not check its watch. Deer do not fret over passing birthdays. Man alone measures time. Man alone chimes the hour. And, because of this, man alone suffers a paralyzing fear that no other creature endures. A fear of time running out." — Mitch Albom (The Time Keeper)