I had a meeting with my sponsor last night to go over the section on Honesty in the Al-Anon Blueprint for Progress work book. I had written out my answers before I went to the meeting but wanted to talk more about some of them. I don't know how many of you have used this Fourth Step Inventory work book but it really lays things out. I remember hearing about the book at a meeting several months ago when one of the speakers shared that the book was scary and that he had to get it out of the house. I suppose that the questions being asked weren't where he wanted to go.
I've read that the fourth step is about cleaning up the "wreckage of our past." But it's also about the good things about each of us as well as the negative. Unfortunately, it seems that I am best at being able to recall the negative things about myself because when I write down the positive things, it seems that I am making false statements. Last night after going through the questions on honesty, I realized that I'm not really very terrible but am guilty of being a controlled person who keeps things in check. The fourth step though is about being honest with myself. If I don't do this, then I am setting myself up for not being successful with the other steps to come. I see now how humbling this fourth step is going to be.