Step Study: Step Three

At last night's Al-Anob meeting, we talked about Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him. This is a step in which I can either choose to get lost in all my character defects or accept my limitations and let my HP take over. Through step one I've learned that I can't control people, places or things, especially the alcoholic. In Step Two I accepted that a power greater than me can help me, nurture me and restore me to sanity.

For me, I think about three parts of Step Three: 1) making a decision, 2) turning over my will and 3) letting God as I understand him take care of me.

The making a decision part was explained to me by my good friend D. He used an example that he had heard in his AA meetings, "If three frogs are sitting on a log and one of them makes a decision to jump, how many frogs are left on the log?" When he first told me that, I said "Two!".
Well, the answer is three frogs because one only made a decision. So I can be willing to make a decision to turn over my will and life since that is the only one that I have any control over.

In turning over my will, I am accepting help from my HP to help me take care of myself. I am also letting go of all the things that I have tried to control. Through this step, I'm trusting that my HP will facilitate my recovery. I now realize that I can turn to my HP when my life becomes crazy.

The God of my understanding started out for me to be the Al-Anon group itself. I now have focused more on my HP as a spirtual being who gently nurtures me and loves me regardless of my character defects. It is now a trust that I have and a confidence that no matter how bad things are, my HP will see me through.

My sponsor urged me to write down prayers and notes to my HP and put them in a box. I've done that on several occasions. It does help to give up struggling and fretting, and simply let go. I feel closest to my HP when I'm near the water and watch the waves and might of the ocean. Even though there can be confused seas and turbulent times, there is an eternal rhythm to the waves given by the tides. Our lives will also ebb and flood but the HP will be there to keep us in rhythm.