Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Back at sea

I left yesterday to drive to Savannah to get a launch out to the ship. It was a bumpy ride. There was a mass exodus of the geologists because their main piece of gear had malfunctioned. This trip seems off balance to me. The mood on board is fairly dark.

There are people who have decided to quit and one of them is my friend, D. He seems to be in an irritable place right now. Not wanting to be on board and negative about everything around him. Maybe I'm seeing the dry drunk here or maybe this is just what happens under stress.

I've decided that I don't want to be part of negativism. It just isn't what I feel inside. I feel a lot of happiness but confusion over seeing so many people so miserable themselves. I have no desire to do anything but keep myself on an even keel. It's helping me to think about all the things that I'm grateful for and that I have a choice in whether I'm miserable or not.


  1. I find being consistently 'comfortable' can really be disquieting for others to be around if what they are used to is drama, ups and downs, and what have you. People are nearly always pleased to see me to begin with. But after a while it becomes apparent that I'm just not having the dramas or conflicts that they take for granted, and that can really 'upset the apple cart' in a strange sort of way. I understand that attitude, but I prefer to be around people who think emotional stability is a normal thing, instead of some weird ?! freaky thing. Each to their own. I prefer to be with people I feel I have more in common with. The term I use to describe this? Problem is 'creates an uncomfortable contrast'.

  2. I agree 100% with friend of bill. the main reason my wife and i are getting divorce since i became sober is that she is full blown codependent and is used to the chaos of our past. Since she isn't willing to work on her own issues, the emotional "quietness" and serenity i've recently found seems to irritate and set her off.

  3. Syd,
    My brother is like that when he hasn't drunk for a few days...you can't approach him, you can't talk to him...like walking on eggshells, which I refuse to do.
    Over my computer is the poem Desiderata. IT's a daily reminder for me to stay away from people who are a vexation to the spirit. (I tried that once, they found me).
    Just keep being you...eventually they'll come around.
    Smooth seas!

  4. whoa, I can't believe you're back at sea so soon again. Maybe the others are just getting used to it...all over again. Flash em' a big ol' smile and a peace sign ;)

  5. The past few years of my life have been drama filled and I thrived on it in a sense. Felt as those no one had to deal with as much as I have to, and I finally just got so tired of the drama, and I now refuse to engage, whether it is my Prince, my mother, etc. etc. It really is a relief.

  6. In my 2+ decades in the offshore industry, I NEVER met one person who knew anything about recovery from anything, other than last nights' hangover.
    That includes yours truly.


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