Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Ready for Step Five

I've asked my sponsor to hear the exact nature of my wrongs. When I write that I get caught up in the words "the exact nature". Step Five isn't a complete confession in my mind but an explanation of the nature or root of all the wrongs that I have done. In taking this step I know that I can't blame others because it isn't about blame. It's about the root cause of the defects that I have. I think that for me much of the root cause is fear.

I can see that the first four steps have helped to bring about the need that I have to set things right with me. I am entirely ready to discuss the revelations that I have come to realize with my sponsor. I believe at this point, I'm ready to not defend myself but lay out those things that have made me miserable since I can remember. It has been hard word for a long time trying to be all things to all people. I no longer want to do that. I've never been perfect and have fooled no one but myself. I think that Step Five will help me to see what I need to change. And it will help me to verify that I am capable of changing.


  1. I have not yet gotten to step five. I just began step four. But it must be a great relief to have done your inventory and now to tell someone about it. For me, step four has been difficult.

  2. That's good attitude to go into the next step with Syd. The last line of your post says it best, I think.
    Not only are we capable of is inevitable that we start to discard the stuff that just does not work for us any longer.

  3. I felt 'officailly' PART OF the program after mine, Syd. You're in my prayers and am sure you'll feel even better about things after this step.

    You're doing great, keep on trudging my friend, it DOES get better!


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