Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Inner child

It seems that because this is the eighth month there have been a lot of Step 8 meetings. Tonight's step study was about the eighth step: "Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all." Although the list comes largely from my step four list, there is also room for additions.

I think that one of the entities at the top of my list will be the little child within me. That child didn't get a good kind of nurturing growing up. The child tried hard to please but didn't get a lot of positive strokes back. That child was brave but often felt fearful and confused. Later that child got stifled in an attempt to be grown up, perfect and organized. The child within also hid when confrontations occurred, lashed out when cornered, and cried when in pain.

So first on my list will be I. I know how I can now make amends to me for not really living my life to the fullest over the years and for not forgiving myself for the past. From now on, I am taking good care of that inner child. I'm thankful for a program that helps me to realize that I'm never too old or too worn down to listen to the voice within and make amends.


  1. syd, I too was the first person on my list :)

  2. My inner child left with my Mom in 2003.That is truly when I began to embrace myself as an adult.I let go of a lot of dependency stuff and holy crap I would NOT want to go through that stage again ..but then again..I love the person I am today for go figure.

    Making peace with ourselves has got to be the biggest gift in recovery Syd.I know you will keep embracing that gift and sharing it where and when you can..starting with yourself:)
    Tab xo


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