Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Removing these defects of character

My character defects are getting removed from the God box one day at a time. A couple of them are still overwhelming so I put them back in the box and substitute another that I can address. I can see the ways that these defects have been an impediment in my life. I’ve clung to them in hopes that they would get me through life. Now I’ve found that they were largely the reason that living life never felt satisfactory and happy.

In my readings I find that the key principle of Step Six is readiness. Am I ready to get rid of those things that have cost me dearly? Am I ready to have a new life in which I try to be the best that I can be? I know that I am. I don't want to cling to those things that haven't worked. I can feel now what works. I know that not all of the defects will be removed immediately. They have been entrenched in my psyche for a long time. This is a lifelong process for me.

I don't feel entrenched in the resentments, fear, self-pity, or envy of the past. There are still things that I'm dealing with in my personal relationship regarding dishonesty. I am struggling with how to tell someone who loves me a great deal that I no longer feel the same type of love that I did before. But as this step states, I just need to be entirely ready and willing to have my HP to guide me as I give up the things that have blocked my mind and heart.


  1. Remembering progress not perfection helps me when dealing with character defects and the willingness to let them go. Just look at how far you have come, and yes know that we have the rest of our lives for this journey...
    love ya!

  2. Syd that takes a lot of courage and humbleness. I know you are leading an example of others (myself included) to rid of character defects.

    You are ready and willing, what a beautiful time for you. Thank you for sharing this.

  3. Sometimes when I read your posts I feel as though I could have written them myself however I am not nearly as far as you in the process of recovery. I am working on my fourth step. I also get the feeling the person you are speaking about is your wife. It is probably because I was in that position four years ago when I made the decision to end my marriage. Hugs as always.

  4. Thanks for explaining our role in recovery. We go to meetings and work the program for ourselves not the alcoholic/addict. I think many of us enter our first meeting with the thought we can do something about the destructive behavior of our loved one but soon realize the program is for us no one else.

  5. It is very difficult to throw out an old pair of shoes - they feel soooo comfortable. ON the other hand, it can be very exciting to try a different approach - something 'daring' that may have been heard from another member in trying to resolve a character defect. It never hurts to try something new - at least one time - if it doesn't work, then try another method. Reminder - there are 'no musts' in Al-Anon; it is no longer necessary to hold on to something that does not or may not work!
    Thank you, God for all you have given me.
    Thank you, God for all you have taken from me.
    Thank you, God for all you have left me.

    -The weak ask for God's strength
    -The strong personality asks for god's tenderness
    =The tempted and fallen need God's saving grace
    -The lonely need God's friendship
    -The fighter for righteousness needs a leader in God. (Ask God for what you need!)

    Change vision from negative to positive. All is possible through being connected to your Higher Power. Keep connected to your spirit at all times.
    Character defects can be eliminated more quickly by consciously replacing them with an asset. Prayer and meditation are helpful here. Also, service to others - with no expectation of return. The best service I have ever done was done anonymously.

    Just as the alcoholic stops maturing emotionally when the drinking begins, we also stall in our maturity when holding on to our shortcomings. This takes time, and it is important to be ENTIRELY comfortable and ready for the action you need in this one. So, don't be too hard on yourself. Listen - you will know the time and place.


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.