Sunday, September 9, 2007

Conflicts with ego in control

This was a picture perfect weekend on the boat. I sailed out with a good breeze from the northeast, got to my anchor spot, and caught the last of the beer drinking drama of the Redneck Riviera.

There were power boaters and jet skiers zooming through. It was hard to get the sails down and stowed for all the wakes. I was thinking about how it would be nice to see DNR law enforcement come along and remind the Yayhoos that they are responsible for their wake. Just as I was thinking about that, I heard a fellow in a Boston Whaler nearby yell to the guy who was making the most wake with his jet ski to "have some consideration and watch your wake". He yelled that a few times before he finally yelled, "Watch your wake, A#*hole!". The jet ski dude was brought up short by that and proceeded to yell back. Then the Whaler guy laid out the line that would have been fighting words in any century, "You've got your little Honda jet ski. Do you have a little d#*k to go with it?". Mr. Jet Ski proceeded to pound the water, curse and yell out many four letter words. And all this was free of charge with no admission to watch these two fellows figuratively paw the dirt, snort and get ready to ram each other.

This interchange made me think about how conflicts and collisions are things that I avoid more than ever. It's not worth it to waste time and energy trying to convince someone of their wrongs. And yes, I get angry at the thoughtlessness of others but immediately remind myself that I can waste the day being agitated or just decide that it's not that important.

And as the sun was sinking, the powerboats and jet skis left to head to wherever they call home. Then it was time to relax and enjoy the beach, the boat, the night sky and the sounds of the surf.

"Selfishness, self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles. Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that at some time in the past we have made decisions based on self which later placed us in a position to be hurt." from the Big Book of AA.


  1. there is no ? refuge from the 'world' and all its attendant weaknesses of the human condition. everyehere you go. there it is! All the same ol same ol. ego problems, desire to control, intolerance. nothing changes! except the backdrop, or the names of the players.
    Monks often report that they expect to leave the 'world' behind, when they enter a monastery, only to find EXACTLY the same weknesses, played out, but the subject of the ire has changed. but the battles stay the same.
    ah well. good for you for doing your best to not let it ruin your weekend. there are A holes everywhere unfortunately!

  2. good for you! let the agitation stay outside where it belongs--not inside you

  3. Be selfish but with respect for other peoples diffrences, that is my mantra :)

  4. Definitely not worth letting it ruin your day. Im not sure if I ever posted about my experience in Montauk with a crazy mom who left her kids unattended, at night, around a hug bonfire, and then she picked a huge fight with me. It the first night of my weekend there and it really had the potential to ruin my whole weekend, and I decided it was up to me to decide how to react, and I just let it go....

  5. It is amazing what people can do these days. I also prefer to stay away from all the craziness and do whatever is necessary to keep my serenity. I worked too hard to find it to just throw it away.

  6. When I was just a few weeks sober, I was sitting in a meeting with my sponsor when a drunk started sharing, and swearing, and beating the table. I was horrified, and she leaned over and said "and this is free!". I'm glad I don't have to join in that stuff.
    I love the water at night :)

  7. Tab hitching a ride on your boat with her inner tube and rope...

  8. didn't know you also get 'sea rage', hee heee heeee.

    about the conflict thing, i find it very hard to draw the line between standing up for myself and just speaking up when things are wrong. but i'm waiting for a book i have on order that may just help with it.

  9. Syd,
    Since I've been reading your blog and Pat's...I think I could walk away now....but 6 months would have had to pull me off.
    And I like the new me.


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