After writing such an upbeat post following the happy time on Friday evening, I didn't have it in me to write anything on Saturday. On Saturday morning, my wife was back in depression, feeling fearful, anxious and generally unhappy. It's always been an up and down thing with her mood so it isn't anything that I haven't experienced many times. I guess that the marked change from Friday night to Saturday was what was hard.
She had gotten up at 3 AM and sat and thought about us, where we had been and where we are going. I know and you know that isn't where anyone needs to be. I want to stay in the now, right here on this day and at this moment. So, she wanted to be left alone and didn't want me around.
I left and went to Compass Rose (yep, changed the name to this final one) and sailed her out in the Harbor and moored behind an island where I like to go. I called a couple of times to say "Hello" and give updates but didn't get much in the way of an upbeat response. So I let that go. I've decided that she has to come to the realization that she can be miserable and stuck or move forward to enjoy the day that she is in. I can't do anymore for her. I love her and care about her but she has to figure this out for herself, along with help from her sponsor and her HP.
I had a not very restful night with 15-20 knot winds from the NE and pouring rain. It was okay because my anchor held and I had a good book to read. I left the mooring around noon and got home to find my wife happier and not as anxious. I am grateful that because of the program, I could detach and leave without trying to fix anything. I could be on the boat without feeling anxious or unhappy and I could come home and not be resentful. This is a great program and it really works if you work it. Every day is a different day.