What I've learned is that I first need to forgive myself. Until I forgive myself for the things that I have done and my attitude, then I harbor resentment, guilt and contempt that poison my relationships with others. Working through my fourth step helped me realize how much anger, judgment and guilt I was carrying over in the decisions that I had made in my life.
I never realized how much I hated myself and blamed myself for the things that had happened in my past. I see now that many were out of my control. So I now realize that my parents, and the alcoholics in my life were doing what they did with what they had. In order to forgive myself, I needed to understand how I had no boundaries, why I rescued and was sympathetic to everyone but me.
So I'm learning to forgive myself for my issues, for my childhood, and for expecting myself to be superhuman. In my heart, I have forgiven others. I realize that we each have our own problems and that I am not God. I forgive from the heart and through deeds of love. The steps have been a great way to work on forgiveness. And this is a process that I'll be doing for a long time.