Monday, December 10, 2007

Moody Monday

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm back at work after a great weekend. Or maybe it's that today is my dad's birthday and some sadness that he is no longer here. And then it could be that I learned this morning that one of my favorite employees has decided to take another position that is a step up (who can blame her?). At any rate, I'm struggling to stay focused on my gratitude and not slip into feeling down and out.

I am grateful for having a wonderful weekend that I shared with the person I love. I'm grateful for all the birthdays that I spent with my father before he died. And I'm grateful for having had a great employee for 7 years who has been an asset not only to my department but to the agency as a whole.

I guess that I like the certitude in things. I don't like to think about losses or endings. I've never liked to change houses, change jobs, or do any of the many other things that involve ending something and moving onto something else. I must be a creature of habit. Or I must have fears that stem from losing someone or something. I know the latter is true because of my Fourth and Fifth Steps. The truth is I miss people when they leave.

I do have an AA and Al-Anon Christmas party to go to tonight. It should be good. I'm just doing my best to think gratitude and not sorrow.


  1. but it is not worng to feel sorrow for a person you have lost either...sorrow is humane, it is just important to make sure that you don´t get caught up in it...

  2. I agree with pifflan. I had a bad day yesterday, so I know what you are talking about. Acceptance, & gratitude are always good. Hope you get to feeling better. You dealing with it well, sounds like.

  3. I never did believe much in the term "closure". I always have something missing, when a person has moved or died or just disapeared. I think we invest a piece of ourself in people we care for, and when they are gone they take that piece with them..and it just kind of hurts.
    I guess we just sort of turn our thoughts back to the ones who are still here.
    Hoping your week goes well.

  4. I like your approach on your attitude about this all Syd! I hope that your party was just the "pick me up" you neededsweet dreams

  5. i too am a creature of habit. take one thing out of the equation and it feels like i'm out of control...

    i love the gratitude about your father. nice way of thinking about it.

    and i hope the christmas party cheered you up!

  6. ah bless. i second what pifflan said.
    hope you fell better son. just try not to take these sways of emotional reactions too personally. they come and go. this too shall pass..

  7. U cracked me up with with the cold vs warm cat barf comment ahahahah have a good tuesday Syd


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