Friday, April 11, 2008

Late night phone calls

I wanted to sleep in this morning. In fact, I did sleep in until 6:30 AM. I got a call after midnight and could see from the id that it was a sponsee. It was the fellow who hasn't called in over a week. I decided to let the answering machine pick up. He said that he was in financial trouble but was going out of town to attend a wedding of his cousin. He said that he would call me when he got back in town next week.

I feel a bit guilty about not picking up but also wondered what the deal was about his "financial trouble". I actually had a thought that he was going to ask me to loan him money. I think that I need to establish a calling ground rule with this sponsee: to not call me after a certain hour unless it is critical.

Maybe I also need to review what a sponsor is and what a sponsor isn't. I'm not a loan agency. I don't feel inclined to loan sponsees money. Tradition Seven of being self-supporting through our own contributions comes to mind. It's something for me to ponder and deal with when he comes back to town.

In the meantime, have a great Friday. And a good weekend.


  1. I wouldn't have liked that either I don't think. My sponsor asked me to call between 8 and 9pm during the evenings and only in feeings of urgency have I called before that - but never afterwards. I would if I HAD to (save a*s not face sort of thing) but I just realize she has a life too and respect the time boundary in place. I like the structure of knowing what exactly is expected - how many times to call, when etc.

    maybe you know the name of a good financial planner or advisor to pass along. if i have car repairs - i'd call mechanic - money problems - call bank - career questions - job planning person.. AA questions or help on stpes or am about to drink - i call sponsor.

    i was listening to a monk online talk the other day and he said "just because you feel guilty, doesn't mean you did anything bad" (the other was "just b/c you feel afraid doesn't really mean something bad is going to happen"). have a great weekend and thanks for the step 4 encouragement!!

  2. Thank you, Syd. I found your link and now have chapter 1 of the BB under my belt. I think I feel a new post coming on....

    I don't have any sponsor numbers at this point. They seem a little reluctant to give them out at my meetings but that could totally be my imagination. I am not comfortable yet calling anyone. If I need to do that to move forward, and my guess is that I do, I will get to that point and do it. I definitely want to work the steps.

  3. sponsee and loans? no
    calling before and after 9? no

  4. Boundaries. You probably need to set some boundaries.


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.