I wanted to sleep in this morning. In fact, I did sleep in until 6:30 AM. I got a call after midnight and could see from the id that it was a sponsee. It was the fellow who hasn't called in over a week. I decided to let the answering machine pick up. He said that he was in financial trouble but was going out of town to attend a wedding of his cousin. He said that he would call me when he got back in town next week.
I feel a bit guilty about not picking up but also wondered what the deal was about his "financial trouble". I actually had a thought that he was going to ask me to loan him money. I think that I need to establish a calling ground rule with this sponsee: to not call me after a certain hour unless it is critical.
Maybe I also need to review what a sponsor is and what a sponsor isn't. I'm not a loan agency. I don't feel inclined to loan sponsees money. Tradition Seven of being self-supporting through our own contributions comes to mind. It's something for me to ponder and deal with when he comes back to town.
In the meantime, have a great Friday. And a good weekend.
I wouldn't have liked that either I don't think. My sponsor asked me to call between 8 and 9pm during the evenings and only in feeings of urgency have I called before that - but never afterwards. I would if I HAD to (save a*s not face sort of thing) but I just realize she has a life too and respect the time boundary in place. I like the structure of knowing what exactly is expected - how many times to call, when etc.
ReplyDeletemaybe you know the name of a good financial planner or advisor to pass along. if i have car repairs - i'd call mechanic - money problems - call bank - career questions - job planning person.. AA questions or help on stpes or am about to drink - i call sponsor.
i was listening to a monk online talk the other day and he said "just because you feel guilty, doesn't mean you did anything bad" (the other was "just b/c you feel afraid doesn't really mean something bad is going to happen"). have a great weekend and thanks for the step 4 encouragement!!
Thank you, Syd. I found your link and now have chapter 1 of the BB under my belt. I think I feel a new post coming on....
ReplyDeleteI don't have any sponsor numbers at this point. They seem a little reluctant to give them out at my meetings but that could totally be my imagination. I am not comfortable yet calling anyone. If I need to do that to move forward, and my guess is that I do, I will get to that point and do it. I definitely want to work the steps.
sponsee and loans? no
ReplyDeletecalling before and after 9? no
Boundaries. You probably need to set some boundaries.
ReplyDelete