Wednesday, June 25, 2008

To let go

To LET GO does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To LET GO
is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To LET GO
is not to enable, but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To LET GO
is to admit powerlessness, which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To LET GO
is not to try to change or blame another, it's to make the most of myself.
To LET GO
is not to care for, but to care about.
To LET GO
is not to fix, but to be supportive.
To LET GO
is not to judge, but to allow another to be a human being.
To LET GO
is not to be protective, it's to permit another to face reality.
To LET GO
is not to deny, but to accept.
To LET GO
is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.|
To LET GO
is to fear less, and love more.

Letting go is hard to understand when it comes to people that we love. But I have had to learn to accept the rights of others. It is my ego who wants to take charge and convince me that I can fix another.

Remember the old tug of war game? If I pull hard on the rope, the other person will pull hard also, trying to offset my balance or pull me over the line. This analogy isn't unlike what happens when dealing with an alcoholic. I tug hard and pull with all my might but I meet with strong resistance. The harder I pull, the more resistance I'm likely to meet until one of us goes over the line or falls down. What I've learned is that I can't win a tug of war with the alcoholic. I can't fix anyone else, God can, so I'll let him.

11 comments:

  1. i'm practising 'letting go' very hard at the moment. of a certain incident. somehow during the day all is well, nights catch up with me though...

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  2. I am going to copy, print and stick this on my bathroom mirror as a daily reminder to myself. Thanks Syd.

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  3. Good, good stuff. Thanks, Syd.

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  4. How true - I wish I knew this years ago, thanks Syd!

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  5. Can I ever relate to this post. That is how I am dealing with my pill popping son. I put on my tough love outfit and will not see or talk to him until he is getting help. Then and only then will I get back into his life. I have to do this for ME and in the end for him as well.

    Thanks for this, I needed it.

    Lisa

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  6. That first line is the one many people I've met have a hard time getting.

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  7. i do SOOOO much better when i do not attempt to intervene on "God's business".. it's hard to let go sometimes. some wierd part of me (oh yeah it is that little thing called EGO i suppose) enjoys trying to 'fix' things and people and such. i've been doing an 'accept' mantra on things i feel resistance towards. It is hard to explain here.. maybe i'll post on it soon since it has helped some. thanks for your posts!

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  8. Some of these I totally get and some are toughies right now.

    "To LET GO is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future." ~~I'll need to work on this one.

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  9. Thats what I am doing wrong at the moment Syd, I am trying to control everything, I am like the guy on stage in the big book trying to fix everything.
    I gotta learn to let go..
    Hey you sound like you are speaking just to me.
    Ill take your advice too about the two members who seem obsessed by my accounting too, thanks

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  10. Wish I had a printer here at the hospital. I will have to re-read this post 'Letting Go' over and over...perhaps memorize it.
    I'm having so much difficulty 'letting go'..I feel like I'm betraying...turning away...giving up. I know its a problem I have to deal with...and not the addicts'.
    Thanks Syd.

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  11. Thanks for posting that. It's something I'm working on. And it's not always easy.

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