Thursday, July 24, 2008
Al-Anon has a new book out called Discovering Choices. I haven't read it yet but have read a few excerpts on line. It's about relationships, something that I'm always interested in since that seems to be one of the major stumbling blocks for me in recovery.
It's the whole idea of having healthy relationships and not the co-dependent ones of the past. Anyway, the book states that "Wherever we may be in our search for healthy relationships, we
have to begin where we are today. It may be painful to think how much better our relationships could have—or should have—been. There’s no point in criticizing ourselves when we did the best we could with what we had. We can gain peace of mind by putting aside what we could or should have done and by accepting who and where we are right now."
It's an important point for me to get through my head that I don't need to constantly be criticizing myself for the way I've handled relationships in the past. They are over with. I can just concentrate on how I handle things on this day, hopefully with respect for the other and with love.
The book explains that at meetings we find people who have discovered that happiness is a choice they can make at any moment. I can choose to be happy or I can choose to let my fear take hold and be miserable. Being content is not an accidental mood created when someone else does what I want. I just need to keep the focus on what is within my power to change and what is up to my HP. I think that way I'll be able to achieve the peace of mind and healthy relationships that the book talks about.