Thursday, August 7, 2008

Two years

My wife celebrated two years of sobriety this week. They had a cake for her and cards at her home group meeting. And she received her 2 year bronze chip.

She is doing well and was happy to be two years sober. Life is a lot easier between us because we don't go back over the old agonies of regret that once plagued us. We don't go back into the "what if's" anymore. I believe that both of us can look back now on the years before recovery and see them as a way of life that was chaotic, unhappy, and generally not very livable. But we don't talk of regrets anymore. Maybe those years are just a reminder of what it would be like again if we become careless or complacent.

We both know that we can't undo all those terrible things that were said and done before. We hurt each other under the deluded guise that alcohol created. She pushed and I pulled. We weren't going anywhere with the tug of war of emotions in the relationship. We thought that we loved each other but it wasn't the right kind of love. Now we are beginning to see that "right" love and all kind of other "right" things are available through being in recovery.

We don't talk about the past. It's not a place to dwell. I live for this day and treat those around me with respect and love. I think that will create a good past now and one that I won't regret.


  1. The past is the past, only what's done now with love, will last.

    It isn't exactly the poem I originally heard, I modified it to fit your two year anniversary.

    I hope you and your wife a great life.


  2. You have no idea, Syd, how many people you help with your 'log, especially today's "What it was like, and what it's like now", titled TWO YEARS...

    Many more years are ahead, and, as I heard a priest say at a wedding once, "I hope in fifty years you do NOT love each other just as you do today. I hope in fifty years you will say to each other, 'We didn't have a CLUE' about real love." (Certainly hope I worded that right!)

  3. I have 30 years of marriage, I think I deserve a cake & a diamond chip:)
    I truly don't think the real love, the real knowing each other came around till about 20 years together.
    So glad you hung in there, Syd. The best is yet to come.

  4. Congrats on your wife's two years.

  5. Your words convey the blessings you must feel. I am grateful to have read this tonight. Thanks Syd, and congratulations to your wife.

  6. Congrats, Syd. That's wonderful.

    Just curious, does this mean no relapses for two years? I'm just not quite sure how all of this works yet.

    S is going to NA but there is so much more to be dealt with with him. I'll keep you posted.

  7. Huge congratulations to your wife. Two years feels wonderful, even better than one year. I know. Congratulations to you too. We didn't cause it, we can't cure it, we can't control it but we can contribute to it. Love!


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