Thursday, August 7, 2008
My wife celebrated two years of sobriety this week. They had a cake for her and cards at her home group meeting. And she received her 2 year bronze chip.
She is doing well and was happy to be two years sober. Life is a lot easier between us because we don't go back over the old agonies of regret that once plagued us. We don't go back into the "what if's" anymore. I believe that both of us can look back now on the years before recovery and see them as a way of life that was chaotic, unhappy, and generally not very livable. But we don't talk of regrets anymore. Maybe those years are just a reminder of what it would be like again if we become careless or complacent.
We both know that we can't undo all those terrible things that were said and done before. We hurt each other under the deluded guise that alcohol created. She pushed and I pulled. We weren't going anywhere with the tug of war of emotions in the relationship. We thought that we loved each other but it wasn't the right kind of love. Now we are beginning to see that "right" love and all kind of other "right" things are available through being in recovery.
We don't talk about the past. It's not a place to dwell. I live for this day and treat those around me with respect and love. I think that will create a good past now and one that I won't regret.