Friday, October 10, 2008

Sad posts?

Molls wrote a comment on one of my recent posts that what I write seems sad. I guess that my posts may seem sad because the situations that I write about depict the pain of people, including me, who have been affected by someone else's alcoholism.

I'm not by nature a sad person but a thoughtful one. That can translate to "serious". Maybe it's a manifestation of my disease that seriousness and thoughtfulness come through as sadness. I do have a lot of compassion for people who come to meetings and are in so much pain. I know that pain because I lived it and still live some moments of it through my character defects.

Yet, I can be as goofy as anyone. And there are times when I sit down at the computer and think about nothing that's serious. It's as if my mind has blanked out the heavy stuff. I want to write about the boat or my new camera or any of a dozen things that have nothing to do with alcoholism. There are those days when I need a break from the disease and all the thoughts that go with it.

So in keeping with feeling happy, I'm going to tell you about a present that my wife bought me. Some of you know that I like photography. I dabble in it quite a bit and hope to do more when I have free time. Anyway, I've been using one of Nikon's first digital SLR cameras, the venerable D70 since it came out. Yesterday, I came home to see a box sitting on the table in the kitchen. It was a Nikon D90 with two new lenses. What a surprise!

Of course, I asked "What is this?", knowing full well what it was. She said, "Oh, it's that Nikon that you've been drooling over." Ha--she knows me well and knows what I drool over. And there was just a little bit of the thought that "I don't deserve this" going through my head. I think that I even stammered that this was an unbelievably nice gift. But I decided that even though I might not feel that I deserved it, I really was happy with the gift. Well, it took me about 2 hours to unwrap and study every piece in the box. And it will take me another day or two to mess with the settings and read over the manual.

So I'm happy as a crab in pluff mud with this new toy. And grateful for the caring of my wife who never ceases to amaze me. How's that for some happy stuff?


  1. WOW. Fancy. I signed up to take a photography class a few weeks ago but had to cancel due to other things going on. One day my dream is to have a photography studio.

  2. I've never thought of you or your posts as sad. Contemplative, maybe.
    A very sweet gift, but it's the thought that counts. Enjoy.

  3. I dont think your posts are "sad", in fact you are my guru, my yoda character with good quality clean advice on how to deal with situations, I bet you are a really calm individual, have you got a tibetan monk as a relative.
    Have a good weekend Syd or is it sad syd, only joking

  4. Wow, Syd!
    Somehow, I can identify with Molls' comment regarding 'sad posts,' That was ALL I heard in the beginning; I was unable to hear any joy, I was so wrapped up in my own tiny world of (I hate this phrase today) - - - self-pity. And then, the miracle began to happen: My mouth shut, my ears opened, I stayed, I listened, I chuckled once, I cried less, I let myself be hugged, I returned hugs, I felt the love and gave it back, and lo, before you know it, I warmed up to a human level and actually began interacting with people! Over the years, this fellowship (and the other {AA}) have provided me with wonderful periods of great happiness, joyousness and freedom, which I hope to continue throughout the rest of my life, with good sponsorship, fellowship, and blogship with you and your friends, here. Keep on keeping on! Sad is good, until you hear it differently! I was one of 7 at the dinner table growing up; we heard 1 story, and came away hearing 7 versions! Maybe Moll is there? Hang in there Moll - - - It gets better, hon! Thanks Syd for sharing this.
    Happy weekend Syd!
    Anonymous #1

  5. pluff mud stinks...just sayin'.

  6. Your post's have always struck a very thoughtful cord with me, and your ability to reach out through your pages was what attracted me to your blog in the first place - you are a fine example of giving back what you have learned - As for the D 90 - I am drooling here - seriously my husband just asked what I wanted for my birthday this month and I said that or an I phone and well, the iphone is cheaper so I think it will win! Cat

  7. I think you sound serious. It's your style. I'm not saying you can't have fun. I tend toward goofy. That's my style. It doesn't mean I can't be serious.
    There is room for many styles in blogger-ville, otherwise it would be boring.

  8. Great post, haven't really thought of them as sad, just thoughtful. Enjoy your gift, you deserve it!!!!

    Post some of your photos that you take too!!!

    Have a great weekend,

  9. Thats some good happy stuff for sure, and I wouldn't have said sad wither, but thoughtful. In a good way. I get so much from you...

  10. Boys and their toys. Good for you, Syd!

  11. I haven't thought of your posts as being sad either. More like serious and insightful. I like your writing style.

  12. Your blog always cheers me up, so on a level of sadness, I must be very sad. But I'm not either, really. I'm grateful that everything that's happened has brought me to where I am today. I have hope that there's a new way to live. And I'm encouraged by those who have gone on before us and who can show us the way. Nice camera! I like to take pictures too.

  13. I wake up in the morning with one emotion and I stick with it for the rest of the day.

    If it’s sad I go with it. Thanks Syd. AR

  14. Happy, Happy, Happy Days, Happy for you!

    You definitely deserve that wonderful gift. You deserve the wonderful wife you have. You deserve absolutely the best life has to offer. Any thoughts otherwise come from parts of a past that need erasing......IMO

  15. Your entry makes me remember the one year that my husband and I shared after I became sober. I had a very hard time in the early days of sobriety and he died before he was able to reap any of the real benefits. So many of our days were that combination of sadness and the possibility of hope...but with a little joy in there too.
    (BTW he was a professional "Life" photographer and then free lanced when we would have gotten a kick out of his cameras and dark room equipment at that the 50's.)

  16. well, no prizes for guessing what you'll be doing this weekend then??? enjoy the camera, you lucky guy!

  17. I agree with everyone else. Your posts are written from the heart and they don't sound sad to me...keep up the good work!

    I have always wondered which of the photos you post are yours. They are always a good accompaniment to the text.

  18. SYD! Enjoy the gift, you serious, contemplative, thoughtful, funny man!

  19. I'm not sure how happy a crab in mud is but I can tell its a good thing! Congrats on your camera.

    I just found out my son is a drug addict and I put Al-Anon in my blog search and found you.

    I am not sure why I am here and I have to sign anon cause i have not shared this on my blog yet.

    You have a striking resemblance to another Syd I know, may he RIP.

  20. Ok first, what is pluff mudd?

    Wow, you have 40 FOLLOWERS? I am not surprised.

    This I don't deserve it crap has got to go. You and I both need to do away with that.

    Kisses from CT ;-)


Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.