Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Reflective day

I am in a reflective mood today. I've been thinking about all that I have been given, all that I am grateful for, and all the ways that I could have made decisions that had irrevocable consequences. But for whatever reason I'm still here, still working the same job, still living in the same house, still married to the same person. There could have been other outcomes thus far in my life. But for today these things are my reality, and I'm glad for that.

I thought about my home group meeting last night. It was just me and my sponsor, just like when we worked the steps together. It was nice to talk and discuss Step 12. I especially liked this part from the AA 12 x 12:

"When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the most important meaning of it is that he has now become able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone. He has been granted a gift which amounts to a new state of consciousness and being. He has been set on a path which tells him he is really going somewhere, that life is not a dead end, not something to be endured or mastered. In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he has laid hold of a source of strength which, in one way or another, he had hitherto denied himself. He finds himself in possession of a degree of honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, peace of mind, and love of which he had thought himself quite incapable. What he has received is a free gift, and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it."

It is a free gift that I've been given. And what a gift it is.

I'm passing that gift along to another this evening when I meet with a new sponsee to start working on Step One. I'm looking forward to that and to finishing up chairing the Beginner's Meeting for the Tuesday night group. I can now work with the sponsees during that time. I'm just moving from one kind of service to another. No doors are shut but a lot of them are open to me. Thank goodness for that.


  1. working with others helps when nothing else can... good stuff and I just so appreciate your caring! I hope you have a great day Syd

  2. Have a wonderful new year Syd.


  3. It is difficult to explain the spiritual awakening to a non believer.

  4. Stability is good. :)

    When you take a marriage vow it is the highest form of commitment (unless there is real physical abuse; etc). (the divorce rate is out of control 55% and higher).

    A house becomes more and more like a home the longer you stay in it.. nice to have the roots of the same area too. (you can travel and still have a home base).

    Yes..we have to make ourselves ready to receive the gift. I did the hard work; and I'm learning NOT to feel guilty that I'm feeling Recovered. (an Agnostic can be very spiritual; just see a HIGHER POWER in a LOOSE MANNER; just a good feeling of the world and people and life... and not a set Religion or church to attend.

    I know one thing that I'm never living or staying with anyone in active alcoholism; or even not letting go of their childhood issues of such a family. I just don't want to do it anymore. (and that is that). I think of it as an Emotional Stable Selfishness on My Part.

    Not judging; just love love love my life now. I deserve it too.
    Betty Ann

  5. Hi………
    Absolutely fantastic post! Good job!
    Great! Keep writing…….
    Good week………
    " A Happy New Year''

  6. This is a great post and it's so true...and it's so amazing when we get to share this with others; amazing!

    Thank you for all your amazing posts and your shares!!!

    Happy New Year!!!

    PS: thanks for the comment on my blog...open and honest is the only way! And thanks for reading and commenting!

  7. Passing the gift along.... It really can hardly get much better than that.

    God works an amazing miracle when we work with others.

  8. no doors are shut. what a good place to be in. i too am very reflective... must be the new year creeping ever closer to the horizon. makes me think of what i did, where i've gone, what i've achieved the past 365 days... but, what will be, will be, right? happy new year dear syd, and lots of love to you!

  9. I'm always wondering what new comers are thinking as they sit in a meeting for the first time. We had 2 last night in ours. In the 2 months I've been attending meetings we've probably had 7 or 8 newcomers. None have come back other than me and 2 other girls that attended the first meeting I attended. Will those others come back? I don't know, but I hope that some day they do as they looked pained to me.


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