Every time I go to these roundups, I come away with such a feeling of inspiration that it's hard to describe. I guess it's a comfortable feeling of being around people who seem to also be inspired.
I went to this roundup two years ago. At that time, I hadn't heard any "circuit" speakers. I remember writing at that time that it was hard to listen to the stories being told. I remember when I found it difficult to laugh at anything related to alcohol. I can now laugh at the stories told. And I also tear up over the damage done by alcoholism.
The Al-Anon speaker Debi C. from Alabama talked about so many things that I had experienced. If you ever get a chance to hear her or get a tape by her, do it. She covered the gamut of emotions of a person out of control due to the effects of alcoholism. I could identify with the rages she felt about the alcoholic, the feeling of emptiness, the thoughts of suicide, and the miracle of finding others who had felt the same way in Al-Anon.
After such a beautiful day filled with sunshine, fresh air, and inspiration, I thought that I'd share these gratitudes:
- An awareness of shared experiences and feelings that never cease to amaze me
- That I get what I need to do even if I'm not able to do it all the time
- Forgiving myself for being human
- Knowing that I don't have to suffer from delusions or illusions unless I choose to do so
- That I feel a lot of love for those around me without expecting anything in return