Have you ever watched advertisements on TV where there is small print that states some kind of disclosure? It often goes on the screen and then off in a flash. The small print tells about the side effects of medication or the potential dangers from operating machinery.
In Al-Anon, we have something that is similar to "small print". Our closing states, " ..... the opinions expressed here were strictly those of the person who gave them. Take what you liked and leave the rest."
And that goes for what's written in blogs too. The opinions that are expressed here are those that I have. What I write can be serious, funny, sad, irrelevant, irreverent, didactic, colorful, boring, and borderline goofy. I guess it depends on my mood and things that are on my mind. Sometimes, frankly, there is nothing serious on my mind. I'm just floating along in a cloud of wonder. And then other times, I feel compelled to lay down the stuff that eats at my soul.
But whatever I put down here, it's just my opinion. I'm not anyone's Higher Power. I'm an imperfect human being who has experienced the gamut of emotions. I have character defects that are still deeply entrenched which I'm working on. I don't have answers for anyone else. And I don't want to insinuate that I do.
Blogging carries with it a weight of expectation. Or at least that can occur. I don't have any expectations of what others write. I can accept that you have the right to your opinion and that I can "take what I like and leave the rest".
I do that in meetings every time I go. I may listen to someone talk for 10 minutes about how angry she was that her dog was sick and threw up on her $50,000 oriental rug, and the next share may be by someone who is coping with the loss of a long-term relationship due to the disease of alcoholism.
The person sharing about the devaluation of her rug may have in her head that is what has messed with her serenity. While the loss of a relationship is what the other person needs to share. Sharing most certainly includes pleas for help, assistance, understanding, validation, support-- anything relevant to what we're going through. Just like blogging.
People can then employ the slogan "Take what you liked and leave the rest." We won't always agree. And everyone is entitled to opinions. I happen to not like judging others or character assassinations. Those things tend to be major serenity breakers. I've spent enough of my life with broken serenity that I don't need to do that anymore.
I would like to think that others who read here can take away some part of the message that they like. If what I post doesn't hit the mark or is disagreeable, then just "take what you like and leave the rest."
Thanks. Now back to my regularly scheduled program.
I think this IS your regularly scheduled program. At least, that's MY opinion. LOL
ReplyDeleteOne of the attractions of Al-Anon to me is the 'keeping it in the I.'
ReplyDeleteKeeping it in the I is the truest way for me to share my strength, hope, experience....
This is one of the attractions to me of Blogging.
This is why I respect and enjoy your blog.
Good morning Syd. I find that there are sooo many bloggers that think that they have the last word on the 12 steps, the Big Book, service work, yada yada. I definately "take what I need, and leave the rest" because, frankly I think many simply like being "right" about something. I think taking a searching and fearless moral inventory is a fine art. There's quite a few bloggers who simply skip that step. IMHO! Thanks. jeNN
ReplyDeleteAs one who's relatively new at participating in the blogging world, good reminders. Thanx Syd.
ReplyDeleteI prefer being in that cloud of wonder. Not up, not down, just meandering down the middle of the road.
ReplyDeleteThe easiest way out of an upsetting post is to simply hit the little red box with an 'X' at the top of our screen, don't you think? POOF! Post is gone! Circumvent a possible resentment!
ReplyDeleteYet how easy it is to get into our heads and let a post stew and metastasize into something that it really isn't: a personal attack. Because I believe that it's only personal if we allow it to be so.
I prefer the 'X' in the red box :)
Mornin' Syd!
Hi Syd, Im still here, survived my 40th birthday and still having midlife crisis, no im ok really just come back from camping in woods feel tired out, I got to get back to posting a bit, I have deleted my main website at Madmickstories cos it was costing me too much so I have lost a bit on the old enthusiasm gonna take dad for walk now I think, so good to be on Holiday for a week, thanks for asking about me and enjoying your scheduled programs
ReplyDeleteI've learned in meetings that sometimes we may not know that the dog being sick on the rug, may be about the fact that the rug is the last thing her dead mama owned and willed it to her after a life time of not speaking to each other. I learned this the hard way when I called someone out on a stupid share after a meeting.
ReplyDelete"ouch" we grow up in public don't we?
i JUST heard from michael, was off camping, he's fine but tired of blogging......
ReplyDeleteYes. These are our opinions and thoughts and feelings, and we own them. I love that. We own them.
ReplyDeletei do that 'take what you like and leave the rest' with pretty much everything in life. it's a good all-round philosophy...
ReplyDeleteThat's what I like about the blogging community so much. It's all just opinions. There are some blogs however, that I go to for something extra special. I enjoy all the moods you convey Syd. It makes you more human:)
ReplyDeleteWords well spoken. Clear, concise and thoughtful.
ReplyDeleteAn appreciative reader.
I find your writings on here intriguing- having found you through Shadows blog...I may be back.
ReplyDeleteSyd your message today to "Take what you liked and leave the rest" is great advice and something that I need to learn. Thanks for the message. You have a wonderful blog.
ReplyDeleteI've learned a lot about blogging from following your lead...
ReplyDeletemaybe that retirement will lead you to a politcal career. You always give a spoonful of sugar with any vinegar.
i agree with dAAve...
ReplyDeletei like what i hear here...otherwise I wouldn't be reading...coming back and hearing it some more.
GIVE IT TO ME ;)
I agree with dAAve - and this was an excellent post, Syd!
ReplyDeleteThe biggest difficulty in blogging, at least in my opinion, is the difficulty to accurately portray one's true thought in only the written word. No body language, voice inflection, or eye contact...meaning a well intentioned thought can often be taken in a different manner than the original intent. So, take what you need becomes even more important out here than when interacting with others in our 3D world...at least that is how I approach it. Great reminder, thanks!
ReplyDeleteHi Syd, good post my friend. I bet you leave a lot when you're done reading some of mine! hehehehe
ReplyDeleteSo THAT'S what is all over my floor--the stuff you all left here!
ReplyDeleteI should have known, but "some (me!) are sicker than others"...
But it is STILL good for me to get it out, say it like I heard it and saw it. Ya know, I have seen SO many "stay", who have heard what I've heard, and done what I also have done--WITH them.
If I threw away what I thought I didn't need, I'd not have gone to my second meeting. Guess, that's why they "gave" me a sponsor--first meeting!
I am so glad to have found this blog, I am going through it now. My dad was a manic-depressive alcholic who regularly had grand mal seizures and ended up in intensive care due to his drinking, which eventually killed him in 2001 aged 40. I remember recently seeing posters for al-anon but before that his "illness" which wasn't really talked about was brushed under the carpet and viewed as rather temporary... family members tend to be the forgotten ones when it comes to addiction. I am going to follow this, I really am enjoying your writing. Take care x
ReplyDeleteI worry about seeking serenity at the risk of never challenging or questioning anything. Floating around in that cloud sounds eerily like being deaf, dumb and drunk to me. Discord and discussion, when done in a thoughtful manner, leads to spiritual growth. I reserve my right to disagree - I even say judge - something if I am willing to examine everything, including myself, with that critical eye.
ReplyDeleteI'm not talking about dissent and contrariness for their own sake. Just saying we shouldn't sacrifice too much to keep a false sense of serenity.
All my opinion, of course. And I know there's plenty out there clucking their tongues at me, saying I am a judgmental fool. LMAO.
Well written. I think the anonymity of the web gives people much more bravado than they would have if they were in front of you. People that leave nasty comments don't get a second thought from me unless it is somehow constructive.
ReplyDeleteWell put. I like your regularly scheduled program, never know what you will find here but its never uninteresting.
ReplyDeleteRight on, Mr. Syd. Well Said.
ReplyDeleteYes, "eat the meat and spit out the bones".....great, balanced way of approaching things. Yeah, the character assasination thing really takes us NOWHERE. Serenity, that is my goal, too. I just have to continually remind myself and be reminded:) Thanks for this post.
ReplyDelete