When you're choosing a sponsor, choose someone that you will listen to and trust.
If you don't read the books for yourself, you are totally at the mercy of what is said at meetings.
Control is linked to fear. When I try to control, then I am forgetting that I have a Higher Power.
Al-Anons are the Ninjas of control. We can scent out control better than a blood hound.
That control and fear thing will get me every time.
ReplyDeleteTrust in a sponsor as an absolute must. I learned that lesson the hard way. When your sponsor tells his wife all your stuff and then she spreads that like poison around the fellowship, you know you have just made one big mistake.
ReplyDeleteSomeone said something once I really like too, "Your sponsor is the one in the room that is louder than the voices in your head."
ReplyDeleteI love the "Heard in a Meeting" series that you write.
I love the "heard in a meeting" series!
ReplyDeletePreferably, somebody sober for a good long while.
ReplyDeletewell put, and all this time we addicts thought we had the monopoly on control. lol
ReplyDeleteSuch a great point about control and fear. I have some serious issues with control that I'm working through and I'd never really thought about it in terms of fear (though that makes so much sense!).
ReplyDeleteI knew a great sponsor (great recovery, great knowledge of the program, 5+ years sob=er) one time who wrote up a sponsee's 5th step into a school research project - which was published - at a school the sponsee was attending.
ReplyDeleteDidn't get permission. Didn't change names. Didn't do anything other than tell the whole story to the whole world.
This was bad...
Blessings & aloha...
Heard at a meeting, did I tell you the one about it taking a lot more than 6 weeks out of the woods that you walked into for 30 years. But it only takes 12 steps.
ReplyDeleteI think that choosing a sponsor is a HUGE decision in the process of getting sober. Trust is absolutely critical.
ReplyDeletethanks syd :)
ReplyDeleteit took me SO long to get the sponsor i wanted! hehehe i was very very fussy, but it paid off. thank god.
love !! the book quote. i used to hear so many confusing versions so sticking to people who seemed to be saying what the book said made life soooo much easier. still does as it happens.
yeh. you al anon control freak ninjas!. it is your Pièce de résistance'. you guys are onto that stuff like nobodys business!
hope you got LOTS of rest this week. the heat makes me tired so i need extra sleep too..
I am experiencing fear right now and I'm trying to keep it turned over to my Higher Power before I fall into the illusion of control. I am powerless over someone else's addiction. I can take action, but I can't take control.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this "heard at a meeting".
PG
Number one seems very important, wish I would have had that wisdom when I had a sponsor. She was assigned to me because there was no one else available and turned out to be a lesbian and fell in love with me (this is why they recommend same sex sponsors!) It was very uncomfortable and I had to fire her. Nothing against lesbians, I just needed her to be a SPONSOR.
ReplyDeleteI also love this series.
ReplyDeleteyeah, i can see the control and fear link although i hadn't really thought of it before. puts my little control fit today in perspective
ReplyDeleteI believe God has a part in bringing sponsors/sponsees together. Love read the book quote... Imagine trying to work the Steps based on nothing more than what is said at meetings. Oh that's right...I did that in Alanon...it doesn't work for very long! I am a huge GEM fan...thanks for sharing :o
ReplyDeleteThanks for them words of wisdom, Syd, I have started again reading daily reflections the entry for July 12th was very poignant
ReplyDeleteNinja's of control, wow we really are.
ReplyDeleteIf there was a gold medal for control all us al-anoners would be there in first place.
I have been working hard on steps, 1,2 and 3.
no greater words were spoken!
ReplyDelete