Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Today is one of those days when I feel content, at peace with myself and those around me, and filled with certainty that all is going according to a much greater plan than I could devise. These days aren't rare anymore, but they aren't always consistently present either.
I made a card for my wife and gave her a little present last night. Such little things made her happy. I think that we are both so grateful for the little things that we have now. I suppose that I am easily pleased these days. The times of being hyper-critical of myself and others are diminishing. Today I'm viewing that as a positive thing.
I am grateful that I don't pick apart every meal to find something unacceptable. I don't want to pick apart friends or companions with impossibly high criteria that will only widen a circle of isolation. I wonder how much perfectionism and high standards are really masks for not facing my own shortcomings.
My contentment stems from an understanding that perfectionism sets me at a distance from others. And that distance enhances my feelings of being different which leads down a treacherous path. As Mark Nepo writes: "The devastating truth is that excellence can't hold you in the night, and .......being demanding or sophisticated won't help you survive."
Instead I'm glad to find that contentment is not dependent on circumstances or other people. Instead, it depends on my outlook. Circumstances may color the world around me but joy comes from deep within. And the extraordinary is everywhere around me if I just take the time to look. A jewel can be as bright as a diamond or be the dew on morning grass. Music can be the sound that comes from a Stradivarius or the rain on the roof. Taste can be a five-star meal in a fine restaurant or a hot dog cooked over a camp fire.
It's all good today.
Everything has its wonders, even darkness and silence, and I learn, whatever state I may be in, therein to be content.