Saturday, August 29, 2009

Senility prayer

I am not a senior, but appreciate a bit of humor when it comes to getting old. However, reality smarts at times....

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:

'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'


The nice thing about being senile is you can hide your own Easter eggs.


I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind. Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine. Take 40 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation; Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.


Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.


It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.


These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,

'
For fast relief.'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

27 comments:

  1. if I would'nt get my butt kicked, I'd copy/paste these and send them to my mom lol :-)

    good stuff!

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  2. I love all of those, especially the coffee maker bit.
    LOL

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  3. Fast relief of ANYTHING has always been my motto.

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  4. Very funny...hiding my own Easter eggs sounds like something I could do now. Back to looking for the car keys...

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  5. great stuff, needed a chuckle. Love the leotard one. Have a blessed Saturday, Syd.

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  6. I so wish I didn't resemble some of these...

    Blessings anyway...

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  7. Syd, I haven't been around reading in awhile and I have missed your posts! This was great...especially in my line of work. These made me lol. Thanks and so glad to have a moment to be able to read you once again.

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  8. Oh, what a hilarious read! Thanks for the laughs, those are the sort of things in life we need every now and then.

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  9. Oh Syd - - - - being a bit mischievous, I see! These are delightfully comical; thanks for sharing the chuckles with me and all the rest of the bloggers! (I liked the leotard one best, also).

    Hugs,
    Anonymous #1

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  10. ROFLMAO!!!!

    Thanks Syd, I appreciated the "lift".

    PG

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  11. awesome a good laugh always fits no matter what state of mind you are in!!

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  12. Oh...YES! Amen!
    And Scott's comment! We MUST have the same mother! Hahaha!

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  13. Peer pressure, ha, lol.

    I'm going to keep that senility prayer in mind when I need it.

    Loved the post, syd.
    Hugs,
    Sue

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  14. Cute... even though a little close to home in some cases.

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  15. Easy there, Syd. These get less and less funny the older you get !!
    As your senior (76 yr old) friend I have to remind you that you'll get there one day, too.
    (PS: I've found that the healthiest of my friends retain a great sense of humor.)

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  16. Syd, not many of us here can say (like ME) that I can identify with all of those things YOU think are FUN-NY!

    Sign me:
    "Very Little Peer Pressure"

    (Wish I could say the same for blood pressure.)

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  17. Hey thats brilliant Syd, I dont know if I am secretly glad at the fact that I wont be able to do a big share tonight due to having to go to hospital to see my dad.
    He couldnt swallow yesterday and we rushed him to hospital and today I find out they are keeping him in a few days.
    Just reading the senality prayer made me laugh though, brilliant Syd, its hard making me laugh when I am in this mood

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  18. this is so adorable and different from what we see on your blog. TY for sharing.nothing like a great sense of humour, my son who is now 30, used to tease his parents if we got a little tummy, or we would ask him to read the fine print lol
    We told him. you wait till you reach 40, and up, things do change,but we still have our minds, just our bodies age lol

    I needed this laugh today.. TY

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  19. That is too funny, just what I need this morning!~

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  20. hi syd! love the senility prayer! ~~Tracey

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  21. HAAAAAAAA! These are hysterical...and scary cause I can relate to some of the memory ones and I am NOT old!

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.