Saturday, October 3, 2009


This is the second part of a workshop. This one is on fears which happens to be a big one for me, especially when it comes to relationships. Here are some suggestions for dealing with fear:

1. I find that I've dealt with my fear of abandonment and rejection by talking to my sponsor; going to meetings and working with newcomers; and by remembering that this is a spiritual program. I can get through a lot with God's help and by praying to follow His will.

2. When full of fears and doubts, I find that the Serenity Prayer and slogans are a big help. The Serenity Prayer can be my mantra and eases my obsessing thinking. "Easy Does It" is a great slogan that tells me to slow down, to not expect too much, to take time to reflect on the ideas, aims, and goals of the program. I also like "How Important Is It?" which tells me to stop obsessing over the little things.

3. I have reaped what I have sown in so many ways. I started out life with hope, faith, and confidence. Gradually, the insidious doubt, fear, and despair crept in. I now have the right stuff from the Twelve Steps to ask for help from my Higher Power and from others. I know how to dispel fear and stay spiritually and emotionally fit.

4. My ability to fight fear may be one day at a time or sometimes, hour by hour. I have learned to sort out my worst fears and face them squarely. By facing them, I discover that I have already lived through most of them. Worry only seems to enlarge them.

5. All fears can be vanquished by vigilant effort. Life without fear is a heavenly blessing and the whole world is a different place when I have peace of mind. I can have freedom from fear if I choose to follow the program as it gradually unfolds, practice the steps more honestly and make a decision to trust in my Higher Power. Because I am only human, I will falter and the fear will return, but courage to try again and faith in my Higher Power will conquer these fears.

6. Learn to relax. Learn to listen. and Learn to laugh. Put these into daily practice and many of my fears will flee.

7. My fears are mostly unfounded and magnified. I have the courage to face it, sort it out and acknowledge it and if it is the worst, I am at the bottom the only way to go is up.

8. Faith helps me to face up to my distrust, my defects and my reality. If I close myself off from faith, then the fears take hold. "Fear knocked at the door. There was no one there."

9. If I tell my fears by sharing my story, I am exposing them. I have learned to laugh at many things that once made me cry. If I share my experience, strength and hope and am generous with my past, I am helping others. I won't let pride, fear or shyness hold me back. If I give away what I have then I will be better for it.

10. The worst thing about fear is that each time I allow myself to become prey to it, it makes it easier to succumb a second or third time until fear becomes entrenched. The solution is to face it, analyze it, and pursue it until I determine the worst that could happen. I find that working with my sponsor is helpful. I have confidence in him and know that he he has faced many fears as well. Once I face the fear and pursue it to the end, I can go onward. Each time I do this, courage will replace the nameless fears.

11. When my calmness and serenity is broken by getting emotionally upset, I need to talk to someone in the program and talk it out. If I can stay calm and reach out, I will recover quicker. A quiet time alone with my Higher Power will often bring back my serenity. It will bring me the calm needed to make rational decisions.

It is up to me to think through my problems and find a solution that I can accept. It does me no good to panic or to obsess on something over and over. I have found that protesting a solution isn't productive. I need to hunt for the solution because there is one if I look hard enough. Sometimes, the solution is that I have to accept something I can't change. That isn't easy. It takes time and practice and courage.


  1. Great post, Syd. You've highlighted some useful ways to live through fear (or in spite of it). It's such a very real emotion.

  2. I started to bookmark your posts that provided good material like this and have realized that I could pretty much just use your whole blog. I appreciate your bringing so much of substance here.

    Blessings and aloha...

  3. Awesome post Syd!!! Thanks for sharing.

  4. "protesting a solution isn't productive" - I loved that. Thanks for this post.

  5. I hid my fears for years, under the guise of anger. Now I've learned to face whatever it is head on and walk through to the other side. It never comes out like I thought it would...but there is always an answer if I can just keep it in the "one day (or hour) at a time" mode.
    Good post, Syd.

  6. Thanks for this. As the days draw nearer to Christmas (and Andrew's release), I'm dealing with fear. I thought I had it under control..

  7. Another wonderful and meaningful post, Syd.

    Are we ever totally without fears?

  8. Boy, you can say that again. Acceptance is hard oftentimes.

    I've found in my life that almost all of the things I've feared never turned out as bad (or at all) like I feared or expected. Therefore, it doesn't do much good to be afraid.

    I don't struggle with a lot of fear, but I do struggle with acceptance. BIG TIME.

    I admire your honesty, Syd. I really do. You are a brave soul.


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