Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Transformation


I had a meeting with an old colleague this morning. During the course of our conversation, I told him how a proposal that a group of us had worked on was not submitted to the granting agency on Friday. Another scientist who is the principal on the project was supposed to submit it. Unfortunately, he didn't remember until Sunday night which was too late.

My old colleague looked at me in a bit of shock. He said to me, "Something's different about you. You seem so laid back and at ease. You've never suffered fools gladly. Is there anything wrong?" I had to laugh.

The old me would have been filled with resentment and judgment over the proposal not being submitted. The old me would have castigated myself over leaving it in the hands of someone else. Instead, I chose not to let it ruin my Monday. I went to my home group meeting and did a program on Step 10. Amazing how God arranges things so that I hear just what I needed to hear when I need to hear it.

The transformation that I feel daily fills me with gratitude. I'm glad that I don't have to react out of anger or judgment. I can feel myself flying even on days when I think that I can only crawl.

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you it's going to be a butterfly. ~Richard Buckminster Fuller

24 comments:

  1. One of my biggest blessings in program, has been my learning to accept that we all make mistakes. There will be times in my life when someone else's mistakes will affect me. I don't have to get angry or resentful; I can choose to accept them and their human frailties.
    I loved that your colleague asked if something was wrong that you weren't getting upset!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Syd, this is great that you are not upset. I am angry for you though. Nothing like doing work for no purpose. Ugh!

    Love,

    SB

    ReplyDelete
  3. yd,I know what you mean,the old me would have exploded with a lot of four letter words comming out of my mouth.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Lovely post, Syd. It really made me think a lot about transforming and what that means when it comes to the transformation of human lives.

    ReplyDelete
  5. A nice confirmation of growth and serenity. I'm happy for you.

    Blessings and aloha...

    ReplyDelete
  6. Putting the principles of the program into practice...

    That's what I love about you, Syd. You are a great ambassador for recovery.

    ReplyDelete
  7. All I can say is that I am glad that's a caterpillar not a tomato worm.

    Hearing about the change in you is inspiring.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I know how much work proposals take. For you to remain as calm as you did is a tribute to the program our God gave us and to you for using it.

    PG

    ReplyDelete
  9. Today during my daughters hair cut our stylist realized my daughter had cut her own hair. She did such a great job of disguising this I had not noticed. In the past I might have scolded her relentlessly. Today, I told her that next time she thinks she needs to hide something from me out of concern for how I might react, I hope that she will give me a chance to show her I can accept her choices and I respect that she can in fact do whatever she wants to do to her hair.

    It is nice to LIVE and LET LIVE.

    THANKS RECOVERY!!! & Thank you Syd.

    ReplyDelete
  10. ahh Syd,I just am so happy you blog.Your transformation comes from a lot of hard personal recovery work and honest writing.
    Honest living.Many of us can relate to the progress and I love that you wrote about this today.
    I'm going thru a dark grief phase but I'm trying to just roll with it..accept it..because I know that's part of the whole transformation process in life.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  11. Whoa I am not sure I would have remained calm after the grant was not submitted...Good to hear your serenity in it all. What could you do after the fact?
    Not a whole lot...

    ReplyDelete
  12. Thanks for talking about acceptance today. Working the steps does transform us. The Big Book tells us that when we have that vital spiritual experience, we are "reborn"!
    I went to a good meeting today and shared a little bit about my problem, how I still suit up and show up and trust that this will pass. It made quite a few other people share their struggles and solutions too.
    Thank God for this fellowship.Thank you for so faithfully visiting my blog and giving me a good word.
    All the best to you,
    Chris

    ReplyDelete
  13. I guess you saved yourself a whole heap of sleepless nights. Well done. It always amazes me when the programme works when Im not looking

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yes Syd, There is always another way.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    ReplyDelete
  15. So glad it was a good day! and gladder still that God will provide everything needed even if the coworker didn't.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Without transformation I would be all dry and brittle. It's good to be flexible.

    ReplyDelete
  17. to know it's useless to stress over something you cannot change or influence... wow.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Wow, powerful what is happening in you. So happy for you. Thanks for sharing this:)

    ReplyDelete
  19. You are such an inspiration. I love the quote.. SMILES

    ReplyDelete
  20. Syd, I've never met you face to face, but just in reading your blog over the past couple of years tells me how much we grow as we put the principles into action and how we shift ourselves and our souls. Thank you for your writing, your blog, your care in the manner in which you share!!!

    love,
    gabi

    ReplyDelete
  21. That change is something I can totally relate to - our home is a nice place to be now and it seems the change in behavior is catching - my boys are learning this - slowly but surely.

    ReplyDelete
  22. I remember days of raging with no end over something that in the end wasn't worth the time I lost worrying and stressing over it. I know exactly what you're talking about. Thanks for such a heartfelt reminder. (Hugs)Indigo

    ReplyDelete

Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.