I got back late last night from Newport. What a great town. I was reminded of going there about three years ago. I was an anxiety-ridden mess. I was going through a crisis with my wife. I had just gotten into Al-Anon. Everything in my world was a maelstrom of confusion.
I called my sponsor from the airport. I can remember having a conversation in which I didn't really hear what he was saying except that I needed to keep the focus on myself.
I thought that the best way to do that was to go to some recovery meetings. I went to several open AA meetings while I was there because there weren't any Al-Anon meetings during my stay.
I walked into a mid-day meeting and introduced myself to an elderly gentleman in a wheelchair. I told him that I was in Al-Anon but needed to be at a meeting. I think that he could sense my anxiety. He asked me to chair the meeting which I declined. He told me that it would be okay (which I now realize does not coincide with Tradition One). I felt a bit unsure but decided that if I was being asked to do something then I needed to go ahead with it. God knows, I needed to be at that meeting. For some reason, I felt that I was being guided to do this and just trusted that it would all be okay.
So I read How It Works and then he asked me to tell my story. So I gave about a 15 minute share about what being me currently felt like and how I had gotten into Al-Anon for help in my own recovery. There were about 10 people present at the meeting and each one who shared indicated that my story reminded them of why they needed to stay sober and of the pain that they had caused others. One fellow said that he had committed crimes on a daily basis during his years of alcohol and drugs, had been to thousands of AA meetings but had never heard an Al-Anon speak. He said that the honesty and courage that I expressed were to be commended. I felt very welcomed and had a sense of well-being that put me at peace.
So going back to Newport this week made me remember the kindness I was shown by the AA fellowship there. And for some reason that made me feel better about a lot of things. It may not have been the best thing for a beginner in Al-Anon to do, but I appreciate that the elderly man in the wheelchair recognized a fellow lost soul and reached out to help.
My ex also said it was eye opening to hear an Al-Anon person speak.
ReplyDeleteGlad that just being there and remembering that helped you while you were away!
Such a large circle it is. Something that maybe seems small, really is quite large as it affects you to this day. I love this. Glad you are feeling a bit lighter.
ReplyDeleteWhile that probably wouldn't have happened at my AA meeting (although, come to think of it, we've survived a lot worse... ;-) ), thank god for Tradition 4 so that you could be where you were supposed to be in that day.
ReplyDeleteGlad you had a pleasant time away.
Blessings and aloha...
That's a beautiful story Syd. God seems to direct our lives so effortlessly if we are willing. You were right where you were supposed to be.
ReplyDeleteIt's amazing how someone at any point and time in a meeting seemed to know the right words we needed to hear. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeletesounds like you were in the right place at the right time :)
ReplyDeleteGod seems to know exactly what we and others need, doesn't He?
ReplyDeleteSometimes I worry about recovering addicts or even users reading my work or hearing my story. Being raised by addicted people and coping with it as an adult hasn't been a cake walk and I forget its the TRUTH that sets people free. I forget that the reflection of my reality into another's life can sometimes put people in a response to change or keep them on their path of recovery. Thank you Syd for reminding me to keep telling the TRUTH of the matter as it has pertained to my life.
ReplyDeleteMost people who need Alanon (but don't go) are waiting for their loved one to change. It sounds like you've come a long way from being an anxiety-ridden mess and living in a maelstrom of confusion. That's a good example of recovery for everyone who feels the way you did three years ago.
ReplyDeleteSometimes an extended hand comes in various forms....and the most beautiful are the ones that are out of the ordinary. Personally I think that are times when someone's broken heart is more important than the rules....beautiful story, thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteFor me, it is often eye opening to read what Al Anon persons write.
ReplyDeleteNewport is a wonderful place.
Yes, that is exactly why I stay in touch with so many Al-Anon'ers, because it helps me understand what the other half of this equation goes through.
ReplyDeleteHow frequently what I decided was not the best thing to happen...was exactly JUST what GOD intended to happen.
ReplyDeletebeing in the right place, at the right time.... have a happy weekend!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful that from that misguided decision (to have a new alanon speak at an AA meeting), so many good things happened. Thanks for sharing Syd.
ReplyDeleteTo me, that man exemplified the "magic of AA" as I call it. I love how AA works like that. it seems like only the folks living with the disease truly know and understand what it's all about. That's why AA and Al-Anon work. We put God at the center and we listen and help others.
ReplyDeleteWow what an amazing post, so true that we are always placed exactly where we need to be in order to receive the lessons, the love, the peace that we seek.
ReplyDeleteGlad it was peaceful as you return may you have serenity.
G
Glad you are back safe and sound, Syd. I'm also very glad that you were not in turmoil for this trip.
ReplyDeleteLove, SB.
God works in mysterious ways, I am glad you went and read. I am glad I get to read what your write. I am not in need of AA, but you always help me deal with my journey.. TY so much, peace be with you on this weekend, enjoy and feel God's blessings on yu and yours. I am blessed to come here. Smiles
ReplyDeleteI appreciate reading this.
ReplyDeleteReally great share I appreciate the elderly man reaching out to you.
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