Telling what it's like to work on recovering from the effects of alcoholism through Al-Anon
Saturday, November 21, 2009
THis must have been written by a pessimist, but it is so true...
1.Law of Mechanical Repair-After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee. 2.Law of Gravity-Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner. 3.Law of Probability-The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act. 4.Law of Random Numbers- If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal and someone always answers. 5.Law of the Alibi-If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. 6.Variation Law-If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now (works every time). 7.Law of the Bath-When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings. 8.Law of Close Encounters-The probability of meeting someone you know increases dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with. 9.Law of the Result-When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will. 10.Law of Biomechanics-The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach. 11.Law of the Theater- At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last. 12.The Starbucks Law- As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 13.Murphy's Law of Lockers- If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers. 14.Law of Physical Surfaces-The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug. 15.Law of Logical Argument-Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about. 16.Brown's Law of Physical Appearance-If the clothes fit, they're ugly. 17.Oliver's Law of Public Speaking-A closed mouth gathers no feet. 18.Wilson's Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy-As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it. 19.Doctors' Law-If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there you'll feel better. Don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.