Telling what it's like to work on recovering from the effects of alcoholism through Al-Anon
Monday, November 23, 2009
Thanksgiving memories
It is hard to believe that Thanksgiving is almost here. I have written before that it is my favorite holiday. This year the holiday coincides with our wedding anniversary.
I've written about our small but happy wedding celebration in an earlier post. We never had a real honeymoon. We had a weekend away from graduate studies and then went back to work. We were dedicated, in love, and poor back then.
At that time we lived in a little concrete block house that we rented. We could not get the furnace to work properly so we froze during those cold Virginia winters. We used to warm the house with the oven. When not at the laboratory, we spent a lot of time under the covers.
For our first anniversary I gave C. a dark blue tablecloth. She gave me a nice flannel shirt. We cooked a special dinner together along with a pitcher of strawberry daiquiris. C. drank the entire pitcher.
After having the nice dinner, she went into the bathroom and threw it up. After that I helped her to bed. That's when the fun really started. As I came around to my side of the bed, I saw a face pressed against the window glass. I yelled out and ran out the front door into the snow in my underwear.
I chased the fellow but without shoes my feet were nearly frozen. So I came back in and called the sheriff. The peeping Tom turned out to be a neighbor's teenage son who had been caught before peeping in windows.
My yelling at seeing the peeper scared C. In her cups, she thought I was yelling at her! It was not the way I thought our first anniversary would be. Those expectations got me even back then.
We finished graduate school, moved out of the little house, packed up and moved to another state. It seems like a lifetime ago now. We have had good and bad times and have had life get in the way of so many things.
But I remain filled with love for her. I feel a lot of comfort now. It may not be the giddy excitement of being newly wed, but it is a good feeling. And I don't think that there will be any daiquiris or peepers (except maybe the squirrels) this year. But every year we set the table with the old blue tablecloth and often fix the same meal that we had all those years ago. It just seems like a memory worth smiling about.
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This was a post rich in memories and love, and change and transformation. Thanks for sharing it. I feel the same kind of transformed love for my husband, growth and deepening.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary; happy thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteBest wishes,
Anonymous #1
Peepers. How super creepy.
ReplyDeleteHave a wonderful and loving anniversary and Thanksgiving holiday.
You are good man. Good example to all people. Best wishes to you and yours for the holidays.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice when those not-so-pleasant experiences can become humorous once we grow through recovery.
ReplyDeleteHappy Thanksgiving, Syd. I'm thankful that you are willing to share your experiences and thoughts on this blog. I have learned a lot about who I wish to be from you.
omg- we turn on the oven for warmth too! i swear i thought i was the only one in this century to do that.
ReplyDeletehappy anniversay
you made me cry and you made me smile... traditions are wonderful to have and maintain, they fill you with comfort. happy nearly anniversary!
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful looking back in sobriety and seeing the true perspective.
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I were so broke the first couple of years, and we lived in some real dumps. We laugh about those memories now, and they prepared us for the rough patches ahead.
ReplyDeleteYou made me smile, thanks for sharing this memory.
It seems like the old blue tablecloth represents much more than when it was first introduced into your household.
ReplyDeleteWhen a marriage survives so much, it speaks of true love.jeNN
I love the tablecloth tradition. I'm a sucker for traditions.
ReplyDeletehappy anniversary Syd and thank you so much for your words of wisdom and experience!
ReplyDeleteI am grateful that we've connected online!
Thank you for sharing this memory with us Syd. I love the tablecloth tradition and can almost feel the warmth of your holiday and heart from here.... Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving and a very Happy Anniversary...
ReplyDeleteLove what you shared about your Thanksgiving memories, Syd. I hope you have a very happy Thanksgiving!
ReplyDeleteYour memory made me smile too.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and aloha...
yes happy anniversary, a bitter sweet memory. time and growth are amazing factors!
ReplyDeleteGawd damnit Syd,you almost made me cry reading this! ( I said almost!)
ReplyDeleteI loved it.
xoxo
My heart felt all warm and fuzzy reading this, Syd. So much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving day... may you both enjoy the beautiful gift of memories :)
ReplyDeleteYou are sharing the wealthiest gift possible, a memory. Hold it close to breast for there are days the memories bring us through the rain. Thanks so much for sharing this Syd. Hugs. Tammy
ReplyDeleteHave a lovely Thanksgiving, and a very happy anniversary to you and C.
ReplyDelete