Saturday, December 12, 2009

You just have dirty thoughts

I thought that I would infuse a bit of bawdiness into your Saturday. So here are a few things that sound dirty about Christmas dinner but aren't:

"Just spread the legs open and stuff it in."

"How many are coming?"

"Just lay back and take it easy I'll do the rest."

"Are you ready for seconds yet?"

"I didn't expect everyone to come at once!"

"That's the biggest one I've ever seen!"

"Use a nice smooth stroke when you whip it."

"How long will it take after you stick it in?"

"How long do I beat it before it's ready?"

"Are you going to come again next time?"

"It's a little dry. Do you still want to eat it?"

"Just wait your turn. You'll get some!"

"Don't play with your meat!"

"Do you think you'll be able to handle all these people at once?"

"You still have a little bit on your chin."

"You'll know it's ready when it pops up."

"Wow, I didn't think I could handle all of that!"

"Just reach in and grab the giblets."

"Whew...that's one terrific spread!"

"I am in the mood for a little dark meat."

"Tying the legs together will keep the inside moist."

"Talk about a HUGE breast!"

"And he forces his way into the end zone!"

"She's 5000 pounds fully inflated and it takes 15 men to hold her
down."

"It's cool whip time!"

"If I don't unbutton my pants, I am going to burst!"

"It must be broken 'cause when I push on the tip, nothing squirts out."

31 comments:

  1. Hahaha. Syd! I had no idea you had such a dirty sense of humor! These are hilarious.

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  2. There goes the appetite. LOL
    Enjoy the day!!

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  3. I don't know if I'm hungry or hot.

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  4. Oh - another side of you I have never seen before. (You naughty guy!)

    Loved the laugh so early on a Saturday morning. Very cute.

    Have a wonderful weekend.

    PG

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  5. Ugh! I was drinking coffee when I read this! ;-)

    Brilliant.

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  6. How funny!!! I need to make a copy just to pass around for fun!

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  7. Syd, your going to be on Santa's naughty list! jeNN

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  8. A funny Saturday morning read! Have a good weekend, Syd.

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  9. ha ha I got this last year and I loved it then I am glad you posted it.. so nice to see this side of you Syd LOL
    HUGS dear one ENJOY your weekend

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  10. I have heard some but not all of these. These are very funny.

    "You still have a little bit on your chin."


    That one made me laugh.

    Thanks for sharing.

    Tom Bailey

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  11. You are a hoot (and I don't use that word alot)!

    Namaste

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  12. I will never be able to eat turkey again without cracking up! Very funny naughty thoughts!

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  13. Better than the comics I live for every morning.

    Blessings and aloha...

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  14. SYD...that's about the last thing I expected to read when I clicked over to your blog !!!
    Speaking of "thoughts" reminds me of the AA newcomer who pointed at an old timer and yelled "you sure don't walk the way you talk" ... to which the oldtimer remarked,
    "You'd just better be happy that I don't walk the way I THINK !"

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  15. I think there may be coal in your stocking this year, Syd. :-)

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  16. LMAO!
    A much need laugh.
    Thank you :D

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  17. This is a great site you have here. I just found it from a friend's page. I have a humor blog as well and I'd like to exchange links with you. This will spread some traffic around between us. Let me know if this is cool.

    Jason
    HilariousHeadlines TALK

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  18. Blush Blush and laughing!!!

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  19. Very funny Syd. I will never be able to squirt the whipped cream from the can in my mouth without thinking of you...ha!

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  20. Did you think this up yourself? That was hilarious!LOL

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  21. heee heee heeeee, this is cool, gotta remember a few of these...

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  22. I love bawdiness. One year I gave my nephew (34) a T-shirt that said read the hand, the middle finger is just for you.
    I gave my brother-in-law (a golf nut) a T-shirt that said "Golfers play with their own balls."
    They did not laugh. Their loss.
    Thanks for the laughs. I love to laugh.

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  23. LOVIN' me some "Bawdiness" AND even that you used THAT word!! You rock. Thank you for some much-needed levity in this high-octane season.

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