Monday, January 18, 2010


Thanks for all the birthday wishes yesterday. We went for a last walk on the island and will be heading back after breakfast.

It was a magical time here. I would like to stay another week. But other things have to be done. Last night after the lights went out, I couldn't help but think about 700 miles from here there was chaos, death, suffering beyond imagination.

And then there was the suffering that Ed wrote about. That kept me awake as I wondered about what festers beneath the surface in each of us. We think that we know someone, and later find out that we didn't really know them at all.

And then there are those who still suffer from the deaths of those they love who chose suicide or Russian roulette with drugs or alcohol. Kel just wrote about the death of her dear son. It all seems too much at times, too overwhelming and pointless.

I am reminded though that these terrible events are outliers. For the vast majority of the time, things go smoothly without catastrophe. I still believe in the goodness of people. Most of us don't harbor dark thoughts of murder or death. God is still here with me as He is with those who suffer today. And He too may be weeping at what He sees.


  1. so much to try to get a handle on, happy belated birthday!! yesterday was one of my clean time buddies 5 year!!
    sometimes i wonder what happens to those whose lives are cut short.

    then i think of my own fear of dying, a few members tell me that fear is a lack of faith.

    there is this lady named Margaret Moth, have you heard of her? she was a CNN photographer and worked in places like Somalia and other war torn poverty stricken countries. they say she was always the one who got the pictures when everyone else ducked and hid she was right there getting footage.

    in an interview she said people actually told her she must have a death wish and she was hurt by that, she said she loves life and wants to live, but in these places where the shooting breaks out and the bombing happens the people there live in that every day, and if they are not afraid she would not be. then in 2004 she was hit by a snipers bullet and half of her face was torn off.

    this woman is a tall strikingly beautiful woman eyes as blue as sapphires and hair as black as the night sky i mean she was absolutely intimidating to look at.

    even with her scars, she is still beautiful. she loves to sky dive, when they are not shooting war scenes she loves to mingle with the people and play with the kids.

    they recently did a documentary on her and it was very captivating, i wonder how she is doing now as at the end of her interview she revealed that she had a terminal form of cancer. she was very nonchalant about it and she had no fear and no regret.

    she talked about sky diving and being physically off the planet and being able to see it the way God sees it was such a gift and always gave her some serenity. she said she was not afraid of dying and had no regrets because she lived such a full life. this woman is not a church goer yet to me when i think about her she is the epitome of faith and how to live life completely and with out fear or reservations. last i read she had been put into hospice care.

  2. Sometimes, we're SO bombarded with bad news that it's easy to forget how lucky and blessed we are. That's why I must always remain in gratitude.

  3. I have been sitting here thinking of what I wanted to blog about, what was not too personal to share, what would not be boring to read, what would not be depressing.....because this week a lot has gone on. You said it all perfectly. Thank you. I might just link to this post and say, "Yeah, what he said."

    Happy Birthday a day late Syd. So glad you are here....whoever you are. :o)

  4. Happy Birthday Yesterday. I am glad you got some time away.

  5. Your post reminds me of how I think other cultures have a better (more natural) way of dealing with loss, grief and tragedy. They let themselves cry out, wail, and physically grieve with their whole body. They are not concerned with being socially acceptable, about what others might think or about how they may appear. They let themselves grieve, body, mind, and spirit and their whole community grieves with them. I think we could learn from them.


  6. Sometimes the bad/sad news can be overwhelming. These recent events have more people praying and giving...I must believe there will be good that comes from it all.

    Blessing to you and a great reminder that there is sooo much more good in this world than bad.

  7. My favorite verse in the whole bible: "Jesus wept."

    I'm not a Christian today but I gotta respect a God like that.

    Blessings and aloha...

  8. Nice brief and this mail helped me alot in my college assignement. Say thank you you for your information.

  9. CLEAN & CRAZY: Beautiful

    ED G: AWESOME... hence why I'm always a Christian first.

    SYD: Happy Belated Birthday. My heart is so broken by what I see in the world. My uncle used to tell me I was too TenderHearted to live here in this time. I think parts of him have lived in me no matter how hard my journey may be. He was a giver and a non extravagant man. He thought the next best thing to a dollar was a peanut butter sandwich on Saturdays with his two and me, his neice. I saw God in my uncle. I need to see God in Haiti. I'm stunned at how some live with wild abandon with money when a dollar to these people will help. 500 thousand on a yet another car when it could help so many. I'm still not over Katrina to be hit so hard with Haiti.

    KIM A... you are so right... we must all learn to FEEL what we are SEEING to be better people.

    Amen Syd, that is all I can say. Amen brother in Christ!!


  10. There is devastation in so many forms and each of our lives some time or another. When something major jolts the earth as in Haiti it is really tough to believe there is a reason for it or that we aren't all touched by it. The shock and pain I feel in my life as I hear about the lack of basics like water for the people in Haiti is so minor to what they themselves have to live with. For me I put things more in perspective and remember my safe little life is under someone else's direction anyway.

  11. Syd,
    Happy belated birthday! After reading this post though, I hope that you don't mind me saying that it sounds like you are letting too much of life eat away at you and & your peace of mind.
    Everyday something happens and everyday the one thing we can do is be ourselves, be the friend needed, and believe in the strength of others that they themselves don't believe is there- but ultimately, at the end of the day we have to be willing to let it go and believe in the small miracles that happen when we are not watching. :)

    Take care!

  12. Happy Belated Birthday...I was out of town for a few days...much love and hopes for wonderful things for you and yours this coming year;) jeanne

  13. Syd, why do you think God allows so much suffering if it makes him sad? I know all the theological answers to that question (was in Christian ministry for 16 years) but these days its so hard to comprehend.

  14. I could get drawn into the negative of life and people so I practice my programs - pray and focus on the positive daily to counteract this tendency.


  15. I like your outlier reference. Amidst everything that's going on sometimes, I try to keep in mind that things are generally good in the world, but that it's important to do what we can to keep them that way.

  16. well you had a heavy week, and haiti didn't help. So I'm sure you will be back to your ol self in no time.
    I don't feel an oppressive shadow from recent events at all, but I never really understand why I feel the way I do. All I know is I feel a lightness for the time being which is very pleasant.
    Don't worry, the feeling of pointlessness will pass. If its any consolation some of the people I know who seem to know the most are very ? cool about things. They don't seem to be too burdened by things. So that always makes me feel better. Nice to know that you can enjoy life knowing ! lots of what you and I would think of as 'depressing' stuff.

  17. Happy Belated Birthday Syd. I am glad you are here.

  18. It's hard to stay mad when there's so much beauty in the world


  19. thank God for faith , hope, and love to get us clsoer to Hima nd through these impossible things in our lives

  20. i'm sure He's weeping. i weep at times, thinking about the state of this world...

  21. Thanks for making me remember how fortunate I am.

  22. I missed your birthday, so I am sending belted greetings today.

    I never heard the term outlier. Thanks.

  23. You are the first recovery blog I found, I am grateful for you ALL. I find alot of peace in your words and your pictures.

  24. 'He too may be crying at what He does'. What a wonderful thing to say.


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