I'm not a football fan. I've watched a few games but definitely prefer baseball and basketball. However, my attention was captured by the Superbowl this year because the Saints were playing. Maybe it's the idea that a city could arise in some form from so much difficulty and pin their hopes on a football team. Or maybe it was the fact that they were the underdog, often called the Aints. I listened to the last quarter and smiled when I heard that those Aints were really winners, in a big way.
I don't think though in recovery that the Aints are going to win anything. I can think of many situations where I was stuck in negative thinking and resistance. Just substitute ain't for "am not" in the following:
I am not going to do anything for you because you have done nothing for me.
I am not going to trust you because if I do, I'll be let down.
I am not going to ask for what I want because I'll never get it anyway.
I am not going to go to a meeting today because I feel down.
I am not going to do service work because it takes too much time.
I am not going to work with others because who would want to hear what I have to say.
And on and on and on....
I think that these are the Aints that drag me away from recovery and from any kind of spiritual presence in my life. If I had been among the Aints in Al-Anon, I don't think that I would have progressed much but would have stayed stuck in my misery. I am grateful for the willingness that I had. I did what my sponsor asked me to do. I latched on to the program. I no longer seek to sabotage my life through negative thinking.
With my sponsees, I see those who are willing to do the work and those who have a case of the Aints. I don't chase them. They know where I am and how to get in touch. I believe that God has a plan for them just as he does for me.
If he is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse....., you may have to drop him until he changes his mind. This he may do after he gets hurt some more.........
If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us. pg. 95, Alcoholics Anonymous