I like these old photos that are prevalent around the lab. The one above was from a class trip and picnic to a nearby island. It reminded me of the wooden boat that we row on Wednesday evenings. This was not a power boat but a humanly powered boat. A change of pace from today for sure.
The gentleman above is from the old school when marine science was all about macro discoveries--new species, functions of habitats, and natural history. I like the fedora and the suit. Today the field has an influx of genetics, physiology, and cellular experts. There is more balance between the macro and micro components now. But there is nothing like seeing these early pioneers in the field when just about everything was a new discovery.
I have talked to my wife several times a day since I left. We are missing each other. I wish that she could have come up here with me, not to attend the meetings but to visit the area where she also spent time going on ships. It has a lot of nostalgia for us.
I was thinking about a comment made on yesterday's post about the pain associated with having loved ones who are still active with drinking and using. I know that my disappointment and sorrow would be huge if my loved one were to start drinking again. However, I also accept fully that there is nothing I can do to stop her if she wants to start. All I can do is love her, take care of myself, and move on with my life, even if emotionally I am shot full of holes.
I can say that I have some program tools to help with disappointment and grief, but those emotions will still have to be felt. Such is the nature of love. It is when the pain of loving becomes sufficient that surrender is the only option. Some of us figure out early on that there is nothing to be done to change another. Others like me are stubbornly determined and try for years and years to effect change. We try until we are used up emotionally and have lost ourselves. I am most grateful that I found a program of recovery which has shown me there are other options for living.
Beautiful photographs and enjoyable post. One of the grandest realizations I had as a recovering codependent acoa is that I have CHOICES! Sometimes those choices are easy, many times they are hard because it involves a truth that must be lived out and in turn creates healthy boundaries between myself and someone else.
ReplyDeleteNevertheless - I have an array of choices. I love this aspect of recovery!
Glad you're well and enjoying your time there. Nostalgia is a nice place to visit sometimes.
ReplyDeleteBlessings and aloha...
Wonderful post, and the most striking line that moved me was about disappointment "if"...well, as the spouse who was the drinker I can attest to the fact that everytime my spouse tells me how wonderful it is that I am not drinking, it bolsters my promise and lets me be proud with him and for me. It is a blessing beyond description. Thanks for the wonderful thought. It really made my day and now I am going to go kiss my spouse.
ReplyDeleteStay warm, Syd. Love the photos. Glad you are enjoying the snow. You can have my share, buddy.
ReplyDeleteYou share your feelings well and you take good pictures. And the best part is you miss your wife.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the photos Syd.
ReplyDeleteThis part of what you wrote today, is what I can completely identify with, " for years and years to effect change. We try until we are used up emotionally and have lost ourselves." and I too am grateful to have found a better way to live my life.
lovely photos and once again you've given me food for thought.
ReplyDeleteSyd, my husband is a home body. I always ask him to go places with me, even though I know he will say no. He just doesn't like being away from home. I've accepted that, and I know he puts up with my quirks also;)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you're enjoying our part of the oountry.
ReplyDelete"Shot full of holes emotionally."
ReplyDeleteYour comments all throughout the two paragraphs around that phrase spoke to me. Thank you, Syd.
Hope you are enjoying the snow and the extra blanket! I
"It is when the pain of loving becomes sufficient that surrender becomes the only option."
ReplyDeleteI am going to have to chew on that one for a while, Syd. Very thought provoking indeed, and thanks for all of your wonderful comments the other day. These pics are great too! I love the boats on the water.
REALLY neat pictures, you DO tell stories with photos, Syd.
ReplyDeleteInteresting post. ALWAYS good blog! It just never occurred to me that PrayerGirl or I would one day drink again. Never crossed my mind--until now. Well, I'llget rid of that thought before hitting the sack!
PEACE!
Such a rich post -- I love reading about older scientific discoveries and those spartan scientists.
ReplyDeleteAnd we find the strength to cope one day at a time when tragedy or crisis comes into our lives.
you're in a good place, all round. have a good time!
ReplyDeletebeautiful photos, I love old photos the best.
ReplyDeleteStunning photogra[hy.
ReplyDeleteI really like this post. I know, logically, that we can't change other people- all we can do is control our reactions. It's not an easy thing to do, especially when it's somebody you care about. I've had to step away from various friendships over the years in order for me to move on- keeping people around me who were in the depths of their illness was too much for me to handle. People have done the same to me at times, and it hurts from both ends.