Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Woods Hole

I made it without any problems. It was a two hour bus trip from Boston to Woods Hole. After dropping my gear in the dorm room, a group of us went to the Captain Kid for dinner.

The Kidd is a local hangout where the food is okay. I think that most go there for a glass or two rather than the cuisine. The clam chowder was actually good. The Kidd has a lot of research vessel memorabilia. The name plate for the old R/V Chain is hanging on the wall. And there are many life rings on the walls, including one from the R/V Nancy Foster, a vessel on which I spent many weeks doing research.

I must have been asked 30 times about retirement. People most wanted to know my plans. I said that my plan is to wake up in the morning and decide what I may want to do that day while reserving the right to change my mind. It will still be one day at a time for me.

Sadly, an old friend told me that his 18 year old daughter tried to kill herself. She survived but her kidneys are permanently damaged. I asked him about drugs and alcohol, but that apparently wasn't the issue. But she seems to have had codependency problems compounded by exposure to alcoholism at a young age, death of her mother, break up with a boyfriend, and remarrying of her father. Her dad is deeply troubled and at a loss about what to do. His confusion and sadness was palpable.

Well, I'm off to a morning session. I will check in with you when time allows.


  1. I loved your response to the questions about your retirement. Just tell them you are going to be doing the same things, only differently! So sad about the daughter but she has her life still..I will pray.


  2. For me, it took some time to adjust to not having to be doing something every minute. To take it down a notch to a relaxed state and pretty much stay here had to be learned. Not going to work wasn't the only thing about not working that I am learning.
    My self worth is in no way associated with a pay check or having others around me so much of the time. Liking myself and deciding what I want to do with my time is total freedom. I wish this peace for you.

  3. Enjoy the conference, Syd. It sounds like you are.

    The Captain Kid looks like a great time to me.

    Love, SB

  4. Good to see your well and made safe travels. Sad to hear of your friend and his daughter, hopefully she finds her own path to serenity.

  5. Thanks for your entry about Woods Hole. I grew up in Cambridge and love that whole area. Sorry about your friend. I hope he finds his way to serenity....

  6. It is a long ride from the real world to Woods Hole, isn't it? We've been out that way to catch a ferry to Martha's Vineyard. Felt like we were "almost there" for hours!

    Glad you are having a good time. Welcome to Massachusetts!

  7. The story you tell of your friend's daughter trying to kill herself reminds me that "Al-Anonism" or codependency can be as fatal as actual alcoholism. All parties have the disease.

    I loved your response when asked what you would do in retirement. That's about how I am living my life much of the time.


  8. I plan on eating bon bons and watching soap operas..:)

    That place looks very nice.

  9. The story of your friends daughter is heartbreaking. I think people often times forget that co-dependant behavior can be just as damning as alcholism.

  10. She needs individual therapy and the entire family needs family therapy. This girl has deep rooted issues that need to be addressed. She is calling out for help the only way she can at the moment. I wonder with all the trauma she has experienced if she has PTSD. (You did ask me to comment)

  11. best to you on this phase of your journey. seems filled with possibilities...

  12. I feel like you're practically next door!

  13. May this last business trip be full of great memories.

  14. Yo Syd, thanks for being there with your blog.
    Firstly, "Woods Hole", I thought you were kidding, the corners of my mouth went up with that.
    2nd: Captain Kidd! Hahaha! That's too much. Yep, most likely I'd head there for an ale...but, good to hear the chowder was good.
    So sad for the 18yr. old, her pain, and permanent injury.
    Why can we just love them out of their pain? Why.

    This is the first that tears have come to my eyes. My son hasn't been home for a couple days...not a good sign.
    Automated phone call on the answering machine from "Douglas
    Co. Corrections"...he's in jail.
    If I could just love him out of his alcoholism....he'd be sober.

  15. i just love your plans for retirement here! well said!

    sad about the daughter. i think on the list of painful things to experience is the frustration of not being able to help another.

  16. I hope you enjoy your trip... I cannot imagine how difficult things must be for the girl and her dad...

  17. This is my first time at your blog. I enjoy how you write. I hope your friend's daughter gets the help that she needs. I'm glad that he was able to talk to you.

    The ironic thing about reading your blog is that I always seem to forget that my step-father was an alcoholic and my mother abused alcohol. Hmmmm.


  18. I will remember your friend and his daughter in my prayers.

    Enjoy your final 'away-game' This is the time to swap phone numbers and addresses. Take care.

  19. Sorry about your friend's daughter. I am, however, glad that he has a friend like you.

    Sadly, many suicide attempts actually result in death. Glad hers didn't.


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