Grows me

 

It rained all night.  I would occasionally wake up to listen to it pouring off the roof of the porch.  I really like rainy days.  They make me sleepy and relaxed.  And rainy nights are made for good sleeping.  When the rain comes during the night, the sound is soothing.   It's as if the soil, the trees, the flowers, the vegetables are heaving a sigh of relief. 

I picked vegetables in the rain, and we had a feast of new potatoes, fresh basil, snap beans, and simlin squash for dinner last night.  The garden is lush this morning after the long rain.  The dogs are out chasing each other, happily barking and playing in the puddles in the paddock.

I needed the rest and my home group meeting last night.  We talked about letting go--not trying to hang on tenaciously to the past with its flaws and self-inflicted wounds.  I couldn't help but be reminded that my spiritual growth has grown stronger with its roots deepening and spreading out to keep me anchored and able to withstand the weight of living in the world.  There have been many dark days, yet ultimately I am still standing and not too bowed from my cares.  Like all the other living things, I have a passion for living.

I like the following passage from the poet and spiritual philosopher Mark Nepo:

"We start out thin and green, and each time the sky grows dark, we think we will break, but the downpour makes us grow, though never straight, always twisting for the light, and strangely, the more we reach above the earth, the deeper something in us fingers its way down, and it is this--our unseen fingers reaching for the core--that keep us from blowing away.  Now there is no more running and very little swaying, and up till now, there have been many languages, although none that could be heard, just a creak at dawn and a moan at night, and sooner or later, we are brought down. It doesn't matter how. We are undone......" from The Book of Awakening.

Eventually each of us has a dark day and a time of being undone.  It can be the death of loved ones, an illness, loss of love, any kind of unexpected change.  What I hope is that my roots are deep and firm.  And that the rainy times are gentle.  I know that the sun will eventually shine again.