I picked C. up at the airport this evening. She had a really good time but was glad to be home. I was glad to have her home. I don't think that I am meant to live alone. Maybe I would get used to it in time but there is something sad about a big house with only one person living there.
Before C. got home today, I did some tidying up--did the laundry and washed a few dishes. I don't make much of an imprint in this house in terms of messes. I use the kitchen, the sunroon, the bathroom, and the bedroom. The rest of the house and its rooms are hardly ever used or even walked in. The house in truth is a "museum" for the many antiques that come from both our families. And since our family now consists of her mom and dad, the house isn't filled with relatives, children, or many other visitors.
All this got me thinking about whether I would stay here if there weren't the two of us. Having this house and land was like a dream for us. But I can see that without an extended family, it could become a place to isolate. It is filled with memories, but people make the memories for me. The things are reminders of the people who ate at the table, who used the china, who walked on the rugs, and who made some of the furniture. Without people, the house just isn't much of a home.
So I am glad to have C. back with her laughter and stories about her friends and Nantucket. She brought me a worry stone from the beach. That's probably appropriate for me, although I don't worry nearly as much as I used to. I would have worn out a worry stone a few years ago. She brought me a couple of shirts from the Whaling Musuem and one of them has a Compass Rose on it.
She barely glanced at the place in the yard where the boat had been put up on blocks and all the work was done. I couldn't explain that effort to her. It was a mini boat yard until yesterday. Now, it is just a patch of dirt in the drive with a few globs of blue bottom paint and some boot heel prints still visible. I simply told her that it had been hot and hard work. What I didn't say was that it kept me busy and kept away loneliness until I was too tired to think and would just fall into bed.