Before C. got home today, I did some tidying up--did the laundry and washed a few dishes. I don't make much of an imprint in this house in terms of messes. I use the kitchen, the sunroon, the bathroom, and the bedroom. The rest of the house and its rooms are hardly ever used or even walked in. The house in truth is a "museum" for the many antiques that come from both our families. And since our family now consists of her mom and dad, the house isn't filled with relatives, children, or many other visitors.
All this got me thinking about whether I would stay here if there weren't the two of us. Having this house and land was like a dream for us. But I can see that without an extended family, it could become a place to isolate. It is filled with memories, but people make the memories for me. The things are reminders of the people who ate at the table, who used the china, who walked on the rugs, and who made some of the furniture. Without people, the house just isn't much of a home.
So I am glad to have C. back with her laughter and stories about her friends and Nantucket. She brought me a worry stone from the beach. That's probably appropriate for me, although I don't worry nearly as much as I used to. I would have worn out a worry stone a few years ago. She brought me a couple of shirts from the Whaling Musuem and one of them has a Compass Rose on it.
She barely glanced at the place in the yard where the boat had been put up on blocks and all the work was done. I couldn't explain that effort to her. It was a mini boat yard until yesterday. Now, it is just a patch of dirt in the drive with a few globs of blue bottom paint and some boot heel prints still visible. I simply told her that it had been hot and hard work. What I didn't say was that it kept me busy and kept away loneliness until I was too tired to think and would just fall into bed.
It is nice being a family isn't it? You got a lot accomplished while C was away. I like how you appreciate hearing her voice and it being the two of you again.
ReplyDeleteAh. Humans do love to be half of a whole. I'm glad she's home.
ReplyDeleteSyd, so much here that speak to me about memory... how much of what we appreciate around us, involves memories of what we have done with others....
ReplyDeleteWell put.
So true....people make the memories. Enjoy your home, with the person you're making memories with. ;)
ReplyDeletebetter to live in an museum than a hovel, trust me!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I look at my husband and think, Life would be so empty without you. I have lots to do and good friends, but you know what I mean. I like what Ms. Moon said: Half of a whole. Nice. Glad she's back and the boat's done.
ReplyDeleteI am glad that C is home and you are happy again. Gratitude - it is such an overwhelming emotion.
ReplyDeletethis post kinda feels like a sigh of contentment and relief.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to have time away to anticipate the time when we will return to loved ones and our normal lives.
Helps me to appreciate all the more what I've received.
Allowing other people into my life has been a huge challenge for me and AA has helped me to open up. I think if I were your age I wouldn't mind sharing a home...but at 77 I find that I cherish my quiet and set ways. I work very hard not to isolate by attending many meetings a week, traveling and keeping up with 5 sponsees but I truly love to return to my "non-resident" home at the end of the day.
ReplyDeleteI've just been up to see my oldest sister in a Rest Home in Vermont & I (once again) thank my HP for leading me to the AA program and showing me a healthy and fun way to live !!
I love this post. I used to have fantasies about being a hermit. The longer I'm in recovery, the more I believe that the true measure of my life is how I've affected the people in it and how they've affected me. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteJeckyll has already told me several times that he would not stay here alone. if something were to happen to me, he would sell our home and go. too many memories, too big, too lonely. I think it would be the opposite for me, it would be hard to leave the memories behind in the house.
ReplyDeleteI am getting ready to fly to Germany in a month or so and my husband will be glad when I get back. I know this because he just told me this morning that our house is not a home when I am gone. It keeps me feeling warm and fuzzy and helps ease the burden of being the mother of an addict daughter.
ReplyDeleteIt's sweet to hear of happiness and contentment.
ReplyDeletewoohoo. glad she is home with you again, as i know you are. its the simple things we miss...and good job tidying up...smiles.
ReplyDeleteI am glad C is home with you :) Sounds like she had a good home.
ReplyDeleteI think it would be hard to live alone in a big house, but maybe a small one :)
Woo-hoo :) I'm glad she is home and all is good! You paint a beautiful picture of the true meaning of home here.
ReplyDeleteLove that she brought you a worry stone souvenir!
God bless.
gratitude, it is what we all need for each other
ReplyDeleteGood to know C is back -- but you did achieve a great deal as regards boat work while she was away!
ReplyDeleteWhen TechnoBabe and I drove around the cul-de-sac and saw our property for the first time, we said - at the exact same time - "Wow." The real estate agent obviously wanted us to rent a different property, because the house is a bit rundown, inside and out. He didn't understand - we were renting the outside of the house; the trees and the bushes and the yard and the critters and the cul-de-sac and the quiet neighbors. Two years later, crises handled, unified, we still love our little hippie house here.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you have her, Syd. What a blessing.
ReplyDeleteI so agree with you, it's the people, and the memories that fill a home, making it a home. When we were first married my husband and I had a brand new home, although lovely it was sterile and had no history. When we bought our second home, I wanted it to have been lived in. Someone else's children to have ran through it, I wanted a house with history, so we could add to it. Glad C enjoyed her time away and that always makes coming home a big more sweeter.....
ReplyDeletethis is very sweet!
ReplyDeletei love your pictures!
funny... here I am pining for a relief from the oppression of people and you're relieved to have C home.
ReplyDeleteOf course, we're coming from opposite perspectives but still it's sort of funny in a way. I love people and all that jazz, but sometimes I love solitude.
I really enjoyed this post for some reason... It just sort of spoke to me.