Today is my fourth anniversary in Al-Anon. It is hard for me to remember exactly how I felt during the months prior to coming in. I know that I was very confused, angry and had no idea what I was doing in my marriage. I wanted out, felt trapped, and had no regard for her or me. It was the lowest point in my life.
Today, I have a hard time not finding love, compassion and hope each day. The terrible chains of alcoholism that were dragging me deeper and deeper into the depths of despair have been shed. I feel that I am truly living, whereas before I was just existing.
I owe a lot to this program of recovery. I walked through the door for the first time scared, confused and alone. I walk into the rooms now feeling comfortable and at home. It isn't that every day is wonderful or that I never have sad feelings. I do because I am only human. But now I know what to do. I understand what I am feeling and how to let the feelings go. I can turn the fears and the people who concern me over to my Higher Power. It is truly a powerful thing to not obsess over another or harbor resentment. It is true freedom from that person I used to be.
So today I am filled with much gratitude for God's grace that let me hear the message and brought so many good people into my life. I am thankful for my wonderful sponsor who has been there for me through it all, my friends both in Al-Anon and AA who care about me, and all of you who I have not met but who come here to share your thoughts and from whom I learn something every day. Bless you and thank you.