Wednesday, January 12, 2011

No coincidence

Well, the chili is cooking and the corn bread is done.  I am making two pots of chili from two different recipes.  And I'm doing the same with the cornbread.  I had a lot of fun this morning cooking and dicing and slicing. C. came in to check on me and make a few suggestions.  No beans are going into the contest chili, but the vegetarian one has beans in it.  Now I am going to clean up the mess that I've made.  I am actually pretty clean when I cook (I'm sure that you are thinking--good Syd, you washed your hands and didn't get any hair in the chili).  Not much was spilled on the floor, and the ramekins saved the day.  I used about ten ramekins for all the ingredients, and they were organized in order.  Just like a chemistry class!

I did a sponsee call in the midst of the cornbread making.  I told him that I would put him on speaker as I finished up what I was doing, if that was okay.  He is doing a fourth step via the long and detailed Blueprint for Progress.  It took me about four months to get through the fourth step, and I wasn't dragging my feet.  It is just a long process in Al-Anon.  Sometimes I would just like to go right to the AA inventory and not do the Blueprint. But a part of me, that part that says "go by the book" (the chemistry class attitude), says to do it the way that I was guided through the steps by my sponsor.  You see,  I can be impatient at times.  It is one of my defects.  I have to remind myself that the more that is revealed in a fourth step, the better things will go when we get to the rest of the steps.  Don't rush the process, I tell myself. 

Yesterday a man called who wants me to temporarily sponsor him while his real sponsor is getting over some stuff that has sidelined him for over a month and a half.   I said that I would be glad to help this man.  When I first met him in a meeting, he was angry, loud and dominant.  I remember thinking that he was not a person I wanted to get close to.  After a year in meetings,  he has changed remarkably.  He still likes to talk a lot, but the anger is gone.  He has humility now and seems filled with a lot of happiness.  I don't think that it is coincidence that he chose me to be a temporary sponsor.  He said that I exuded openness and a non-judging attitude.  Wow--if only he knew what I had originally thought of him when he first came in.  I will share that in an amends at the appropriate time.  For right now, I am grateful to be of service in the interim while his sponsor is getting back on track. 

Tonight is rowing with the team.  It will be good to be out in brisk winds and cold temperatures (for us anything in the 20's and 30's is cold).  After the row,  we generally go to dinner and enjoy some comraderie.  I am glad to have your comraderie on the blogs.  We may not always agree, but we keep an open mind.  That is what you have taught me.  Corny or not, thanks for that.

18 comments:

  1. Hi Syd.
    Looking at this from an AA point of view, I'm not really sure if an amends is called for. I'm thinking about the line that says "unless it will injure them."

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  2. Corny and sweet...yup, that's some good-looking cornbread!

    visi

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  3. nice. great to see that change and that you can be there for him...and impatience i know well. smiles.

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  4. Its wonderful how in time we can see changes in others when they work a program. I am on the Blue Print
    book and it is taking forever! One page at a time I keep telling myself

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  5. Scientist for sure with the ramekins and all. I wish I was that organized when I cook.

    It seems to me that the blueprint for progress was obviously written by Al-Anons for Al-Anons it has been my observations that we are about the details. The perfection you might say. Making sure there is no stone unturned.

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  6. I've seen many angry people find peace in 12-Step.
    Your picture made me hungry for cornbread!

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  7. That cornbread looks incredible!

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  8. Oh my gosh, that cornbread looks good! Thanks for your posts, I appreciate what you've been through.

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  9. Yep. Cornbread is in order this week. Thanks, Syd.

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  10. Enjoyed that you like to go by the book in your program. I like to go by the book when cooking (and then make variations, as necessity dictates, or after the first time when I know more garlic is the key or less sugar, or a touch of vinegar for piquantness sake....) Chili is nice, an antidote to our cold weather. We have icy streets our way, and the kids in our community are having a fourth day off in a row... Snow, it is amazing that we have it so blessed. Our last snowfall in March had lots of downed limbs and electricity outages...

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  11. Love this post Syd, so relaxed and the glimpse into your life. I also cherish the cameraderie of the blogs.

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  12. i can be so impatient myself. and yet. when forced to 'wait it out', i find there was always a reason behind it...

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  13. Good for you, Syd, to try two different types of chili, and I applaud your addition of the cornbread. Yesterday I made a cousin to chili with whole corn and black beans and onions and hamburger and lots of chili powder. We have enough left for another meal so it is in the freezer for another day. It took me so many months to complete step four. My sponsor is awesome and helped me stay focused and be honest. I languished on step four. Part of the time I would say I just didn't get it, or how do I do that, prolonging the hard work of getting to the place way down deep where I would really do the work. Sheesh.
    I like your corny sense of humor. Ha.

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  14. Uhh excuse me no talking here I am trying to get at that piece of cornbread through my monitor. No distractions please.

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  15. mmmmmm chili and corn bread.

    I agree with dAAve, making an amend for bad thinking just gives cause to be hurt. If however I believe the person experienced hurt because of my attitude toward him/her while I was thinking that stuff, or if I've done some "character assassination" (talking with or expressing my frustration or opinion about people with others) well that's a different matter entirely :oP

    You, of course, know what your HP would have you do in each event, given opportunity and a spiritual push :)

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  16. "Corny or not..."
    Love you, Syd. You do good. With chili and cornbread and the other things too.

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  17. you make me smile with this post. i am struggling right now with my own sponsor. we are all human, we all make mistakes, it takes a pretty descent person to admit when they were wrong with humility.

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  18. I'm back and I've missed you. Chili, cornbread and rowing on a crisp winter day. Your bliss is contagious. My day started with a dead, frozen squirrel on the front lawn. Am so glad my sense of humor is just weird enough to see the funny. Stay warm cause it might get chili. (never said my jokes are good) :-D

    ♥namaste♥

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