Monday, January 24, 2011

Too much

We had a good weekend on the boat. It was cold and windy on Saturday. We went for a walk but the wind chill didn't make for a long walk. My blood must have gotten thinner because I don't particularly like being on the water or walking on the beach in cold weather.

So we stayed inside and played Scrabble. I have gotten hooked on the word game. Who knew that words like zed, za, qi, eoui were actually used? I did well in vocabulary tests but some of the words played are ones I never knew existed. But, it is easy to get hooked on this game regardless.

On Sunday morning, it was 42 F inside the boat. I turned on the gas heater and within a half hour, we were up to about 58 F. We got things stowed and then got underway to catch the max flood tide out of the anchorage.

We then cruised upriver, past the old Navy base. It is an industrial area now with the old destroyers resting (and rusting) alongside merchant vessels in dry dock. We pulled into one of the marinas and visited with our sailing friend who said that her partner acted as if nothing had happened the morning he was so drunk.

She said that she has so many resentments towards him and cannot trust him. That seems to be the fall out from living with alcoholism. We stay way past anger until it gives way to deep seated resentments. And if a person lives with resentments long enough, the ability to trust and even love others withers and dies. I am glad to not be in that situation now. For today, I feel happy and not harboring a seething resentment. This is One of the miracles of recovery for sure.

I will get around to reading and commenting this week. Too much Scrabble, naps, and socializing have kept me busy over the weekend.


  1. Qi I know it means chi, the central power of the human spirit, dunnit?

    The best dictionary I know is the Chambers ~ get the biggest one you can with all the weird little words in it. It used to be the official dictionary of Scrabble until Collins or Oxford bought them out but Chambers is best. Full of whacky Scots words you just will not get in an American dictionary.

    Hey I found your portrait ca se trouve chez moi..!


  2. how true about harboring those resentments...

    have you ever played speed scrabble...we love it...

  3. We play "Upwords" which is a version of "Scrabble" and have a rule that the words have to be found in my daughter's electronic I-touch that has a dictionary as part of it. That keeps up all on the same page, as it were. Lots of fun and I'm not surprised that you get hooked on playing. It's a nice way to relax.
    As to the drunkard...I honestly don't know how you Al-Anon's put up with us when we are actively drinking.

  4. Scrabble, naps and socializing.
    Can't beat that with a frozen 10' pole.

  5. the road to discovery seems to given you lots of insight this was a great read.. good luck on your journey
    - Sy

  6. Ah-lah, Syd. What a lovely weekend. Reminds me of the weekends we used to spend on Dog Island before I went crazy there. Perhaps I shall get over that one of these days and go and play Scrabble again.

  7. I am acquainted with a competitive Scrabble player. She's hardcore and I vowed to never go near a Scrabble board if she is anywhere near me. She's one of those competitors that travels across state lines. Serious Scrabble. That might be in your future ;)

  8. I love scrabble too. How much fun is that?

  9. I remember shutting down after years of resentments. Finally I found Alanon again and had to own up to my part in the disease.

  10. i know what you mean about those deep-seated resentments...

  11. All I know Syd, is every time I play that wife eats my lunch (and dinner and breakfast too) leaving me only with crow to dine on.

  12. I pray for your friend and her partner...

  13. "I don't remember saying/doing that!" "When did THAT happen?"

    Oh, yeah. I know the rhetoric well.

    The pretending like nothing happened and deep down inside they KNOW something did, they just hope that nobody will mention it and dredge up all their demons in the light of day where they are forced to face them.

  14. Syd,
    Scrabble is a lot of fun. Haven't played in years.

    Love you,


  15. I like the sound of your life...A little on the chilly side for my California blood, but restful. My dearest one won't play Scrabble with me. I'm not even that good.

  16. I've been catching up after a week away. Your last two posts really hit home with me. Much of what you wrote about we discussed at length at a Big Book Study last night. How the alcoholic's compulsion is alcohol and our compulsion is the alcoholic. How we get addicted to the crisis. How we fail to set boundaries. How we forget to take care of ourselves.

    At the BB study, the "matriarch" of our line of sponsorship was talking about how her husband is "a normal." He can get mad and get over it. She, on the other hand, finds that very frustrating. She gets mad and wants to stay mad.

    We all laughed as she was talking, because we could all relate.

    "Resentment is the 'number one' offender," Bill W. wrote. "From it stem all forms of spiritual disease..." I know that's true of me, too. Resentment is just as poisonous to my well being as alcohol is to the alcoholic's. I'm so grateful for the tools of the program that have helped me to free myself from it.

  17. So happy to see you are finding peace and freedom from resentments. Unforgiveness and bitterness is like cancer, it destroys us from the inside out ... but it doesn't hurt the one we are angry with at all, not really.

    Just dropping by to say hello,

  18. I admire how you are working your way out. Thank you for your honest.

    ♥.•*¨ Elizabeth ¨*•.♥

  19. Scrabble, Syd, is one game our whole family has in common. My family being me, my son and I. It has beens such a growing experience.. and I think we've been playing on about 3 years now, since he was nine. The other day our son wanted to include a German word, but until we get a German Scrabble dictionary, I am holding up a stop sign on that idea!


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