Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better. What if they are a little coarse, and. you may get your coat soiled or torn? What if you do fail, and get fairly rolled in the dirt once or twice? Up again; you shall never be so afraid of a tumble.--Ralph Waldo Emerson
I really like this quote. It is right in keeping with the topic of fear at the meeting tonight. Each person shared about their fears. Some had a fear about change in their life. One lady was moving her business, another person was fearful of getting old, a man was afraid for his grandchild who has a genetic defect. The litany of fears that cause us to awake in the night goes on and on.
I used to wake up around 3 AM and worry. I would worry about work, about finances, about my marriage, about my parents--the fear would grab hold and was impossible to shake until dawn. I would project my fear into what "might" happen. I could concoct the worse case scenario with little problem.
In recovery, I've come to understand that using "what if" scenarios isn't very helpful. I can be guaranteed of having a sleepless night and feeling out of sorts if I project fear about what could happen. It surely can paralyze my mind. I can read all kinds of things into situations when I project my fear into the future.
I know that each of us has some great fear that may or may not come to pass. Perhaps it is fear that a loved one will decide to drink again. Or maybe there is a health issue that is worrying you. No matter what it might be, the outcome will happen no matter how much I worry. And I will deal with that outcome as I have with so many other things in life. Working myself up into a frenzy of worry isn't going to make things any better.
What I have often failed to realize is that if I don't "borrow trouble", I can deal with whatever comes my way. If I stop the worry, then my thinking clears up and I can see a solution or steps that I need to take more clearly. When I eliminate the "what if's", then I can trust myself and my HP to get me through whatever may occur. I will be given the fortitude to deal with life.