Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Pink houses

Today I felt a bit sad. I am missing home, my C., and the animals. I tend to get this way when I am away from home for several days. I thought about how I am making these memories right now and that, one day, I will look back on this time with happiness.

I know that having someone to share these good times with makes them more precious. I think that is what made me feel a bit sad. And as one thought led to another, I wished that my parents were still alive. My mother's birthday will be here in a few days. She would have enjoyed the beauty here. It seems so long that they have been dead.

Maybe we all think about our parents from time to time, either missing them or wishing that they could have been different, more loving, more tolerant. Maybe we feel the same way about every person we have been exceptionally close to. I know that I have a great capacity to love. And some days, my heart overflows with it. That is what I am feeling today. I want to slow time down so that life does't rush past. I want to savor every sight and taste it.









I have seen a lot of beautiful houses in this town. The house from the Big Chill is here. There is a wall up around it now, probably to keep curious tourists out. Hearing "You Can't Always Get What You Want" at the funeral did send a big chill through me. It is one of those songs that is sheer genius.

I photographed a lot of houses today. There are quite a few pink houses around. These aren't like the ones John Mellincamp wrote about in his song. They are multi-million dollar homes, and I doubt that there is a woman serving up slop in the kitchen. I listened to that song tonight, wondering about how disparate our pink houses are--one man's flotsam is another's jetsam. One may have it just as good in a small house with a busy road out front as a person in a mansion behind a wall. I have learned that having a lot of material things doesn't make happiness.

I will be here for a couple more days. There are small craft warnings offshore. Tomorrow I will do more walking about, go to a meeting, and visit the public library. My walk about today was to the grocery store and to photograph homes.

I am sure that the sad feeling will pass. Even those feelings are okay. I am tender at the moment. Too much beauty does that to me.


11 comments:

  1. I love reading your posts. I came home tonight and feeling alone and far away from my loved ones. thank you.

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  2. "I remember when you could stop a clock." That song and "Jack & Diane" are American classics.

    A touching post for me. I have lately been consumed with thoughts of my relationship with my mother at the oddest times. I would like a more honest relationship with her. She sweeps unpleasant events under the carpet, and simply won't talk about them.

    But I try to remember she is a kind and thoughtful person. Parental relationships are the most complicated of all, I believe.

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  3. damn. life (and living it) is just so precious isn't it?

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  4. hey man sorry you are feeling a tad bit alone...and yeah on the parents...have fun...

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  5. Syd at best you can extend the length of moment but once it is gone it is a part of the past. Look only to the present and you may find silence in your being.

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  6. We are so similar in many ways, Syd. I know exactly what you are talking about here.

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  7. Syd. I'm such a fan of the pink house, albeit the Mellincamp pink house. My favorite childhood book was the Pink Motel by Carol Ryrie Brink. Which makes me think of my parents and how much I wish they would love me the way I need to be loved instead of the way they do it sometimes. Which makes me grateful they are still with me, yet guilty I don't always like being with them or talking to them on the phone. (senile dementia is a cruel taskmaster) Stay safe Syd. This front has been a killer.

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  8. That tenderness felt from beautiful things-often intangible things- I think is what reminds us just how beautiful we are or can be on the insides :)

    Interestingly, I've often suspected that life doesn't rush past us- it is us who rush past life.

    Hope all is well with you Syd.

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  9. I am sorry you have THE SADS.

    Love,

    SB

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  10. Thank you for your post today. I relate to sentimental and artsy. My thoughts about what I wish my parents had given me now translate to understanding what my children need from me. All I wanted was for them to love me. So...thank you for your post on WBDM, to my son. You are so gracious, as graciously Southern gentile as the house pictured in today's blog. Loved it.

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  11. Nice to be able to walk around
    and photograph the city.
    In the past if I began to feel sad I tried to escape from my feelings.
    I had to make everyone feel happy.
    Today I feel more knowing that nothing lasts forever, this too shall pass.

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