I am doing a bit better today. I know that my old dog, Timmi, is in renal failure. Today, I think that I am prepared for what may happen on Monday. Yet, I know that this will be terribly sad and both of us will shed tears. My heart is so tender when it comes to the animals. Yet, they age so quickly and in an instant, the little puppy that I held is now at the end of his life.
I was thinking yesterday how great it would be to have a reunion with all the people that I have known in my youth. They would be as they had been when I first met them--but would catch me up on their lives. I would be able to share with them how much they meant to me and how I still remember them--the boy in first grade who was made to sit in the hall for having peed his pants; the kid who was teased for being fat and poor; the pretty girl in high school who tried to kill herself; old college room mates; and playmates from child hood. Where are they? What are they doing now? I would like to see them and thank them for being a part of the tapestry of my life.
And I would like to be able to pet and hug the animals that are no longer here, feel their fur and look into their bright eyes. I want them to know how their lives have enriched mine, how much their presence meant to me.
Maybe there will be a reunion of all of us at some point, when our collective energies mingle. I hope so.
I hope so too, Syd. It is sad how quickly animals age.
ReplyDeleteOh, sweet friend, my heart is with you. However much longer you have with Timmi, know that you loved with all you were fully. It's all any of us can do. These blessed creatures and human beings who play such sacred parts of who we are. (Hugs)Indigo
ReplyDeleteha. just join facebook and you will see what they are doing...on second thought, avoid it...sorry about the pups...
ReplyDeleteThis hits so close to my heart. I am facing the imminent death of one of my rabbits. I thought for sure he was going to leave us two nights ago, so I put on the music he seemed to calm to the most, I held him in a baby blanket and I rocked him.
ReplyDeleteI silently went through all the emotions I felt. I felt honoured to have an animal-this particular animal- in my life. It is never ever easy. I think animals who have been well treated, know how much their presence has meant.
My heart goes out to you. I lost my boy Sabby after an amazing thirteen and a half years and I grew up with him. I was 19 when I got him and silly as all hell but he was my rock and he was my only friend sometimes. He was my boy. I will be thinking of you and sending you positive energy and warmth. It's a sad thing to say goodbye to a friend.
ReplyDelete*hugs*
Sarah
I wish Timmi a comfortable weekend, safe in the comfort that he is in his home and is loved by his family.
ReplyDeleteMy heart goes out to you Syd. I love my animal companions so dearly.
ReplyDeleteWhatever one believes about an eventual reunion in death, pets bring a special joy and comfort. I had a dog in childhood, but he was really my mother's dog. When he got so sick and she had to put him to sleep after 16 years, it broke her heart.
ReplyDeleteohhh. I am so sorry. I had a beagle for years and had to pass through what you are going through. I also have a Max who is a Golden starting to have some greys... Know that your Timmi will be at peace. Someone told me once that when we die, we will be reunited with all the dogs we once had. I don't think this person actually died and came back :) but it is nice to think that this may have some truth to it.
ReplyDeleteI'm so thinking of you. Each day I get with my two enthusiastic labby type dogs is a gift and I don't like to think of them getting old. But I know at 11 they really are quite aged.
ReplyDeleteSyd, I'm sorry to hear about your dog's health. One of my close friends had to put her dog down this week and it has been a very sad time for her. Having done it myself, I know what a hard thing it is to do and how painful it can be. As hard as it might be at this time, try to remember all of the wonderful things you have shared and know that you have made a huge impact on this amazing dog's life.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry Timmi is fading. They bring us so much joy with so little effort. My thoughts are with you this weekend.
ReplyDeleteAh Syd - - - - I'm afraid I'm one of 'those' who feel that animals are nearly equal to us humans, i.e., that they really do go to a special place - as humans (me anyway) have been taught since childhood - be it 'heaven,' the 'Rainbow Bridge,' etc., etc., - - - this is how I find comfort when I lose a precious animal friend. I use the same thought when I stop to remove an animal from the road - just to maintain its lifeless dignity. I can envision wings sprouting from the carcass and shaking it loose to rise into the sky - until out of sight.
ReplyDeleteRight now, I simply hug you and wish you a period of tender farewell to your beloved four-footed friend.
Tearfully, but with love,
Anonymous #1
What a sweet pup...my dad just lost his Reily at 7 yrs from kidney failure..he's having such a hard time bc he transferred all his love & grief from my mom to the dog (dad left her in2005). Our dogs are our angels..they love us unconditionaly honestly & purely..some day we will be reunited with all those who helped us become who we are...thinking of u & your precious doggie :)
ReplyDeleteSince I just went through this it brings up my own loss. Animals give us the gift of unconditional love. If I close my eyes now I can imagine her here beside me.
ReplyDeleteI believe our pets will be there when we get to the other side.
I'm so sorry, Syd. I hope you savor the joy in your heart for all the love and good times you've had with Timmi.
ReplyDeleteI hope so too. I still miss every animal with whom I've shared my life. The sharp pain of loss has dulled; what remains is a wistful feeling.
ReplyDeleteMy prayers and love for you and Timmi.
ReplyDeleteBefore I read this I was listening to Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue" and I was transported to one of those special times with my husband before he got too sick to attend outdoor concerts. The memory was almost too much to bear so I don't know if I could handle a reunion as you portray it, altho it's a nice thought.
ReplyDeleteSome people describe Facebook as the way they reach out to people they knew in their childhood. I don't do Facebook so I can't vouch for it. The people from my childhood that I got close to I have always maintained a relationship with and have stayed in touch with them.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I sure would like to have some time with some of my pets.
I am so sorry for the condition of your dog. I know this is a hard thing. Sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteOh Syd. I'm so sorry.
ReplyDelete~Sarah
Ahh I am so glad that your heart is not closed from grief and you are open to being wounded by loss of loved ones.
ReplyDelete"I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow
if you have been opened by life's betrayals
or have become shrivelled and closed
from fear of further pain."
Oriah mountain dreamer the invitation
I feel like I carry people in my heart so they are never very far away. living or deceased. I could be in denial for all I know but if I think of people I feel their presence/essence. So i just dont have the feeling of separation so much. The most difficult thing for mr is observing their suffering and being powerless over it.
Thank you for sharing this with us Syd and I hope you have the strength to go through this difficult stage as best you can. We will be thinking of you and Timmi..
I agree with everything else has said. Losing a furry companion is more than difficult -- it's heart-wrenching.
ReplyDeleteConnecting with old friends can be a dual edged sword. I've re-connected with many of my old schoolmates. Hearing how others preceived a childhood in the same small town with the same teachers and classmates -- can be a bit eye-opening. I have enjoyed it very much. But, it also has made me remember some things that I had conveniently forgotten through my selective memory.
If you have the chance to re-connect, I suggest to do it. I used Classmates and Facebook. It has been interesting.
You know I'm dealing with this too, although Pearl's renal system seems to be working perfectly...
ReplyDeleteI love your thankful reunion idea. You are a loving light, Syd.
I am sorry to hear this. I do understand as I have gone through this before...
ReplyDeleteTimmie sounds like a good dog.
Reading this post I felt deeply emotional about days gone by. Thanks for the reunion of those memories you inspired.
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to read your blog, sad for your pet situation. I know your doggie knows how much you love him. We are so lucky to have these creatures in our lives.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you and poor Timmi. I will be thinking of you today.
ReplyDeleteI love you so.
And I'd love to have a reunion with my animals who have gone on, too.