Thursday, May 12, 2011

Sweet honey

Last night as I was sleeping,
I dreamt—marvelous error!—
that I had a beehive
here inside my heart.
And the golden bees
were making white combs
and sweet honey
from my old failures.
from "Last Night as I was Sleeping" by Antonio Machado

I am struggling a bit at the moment.  It will pass.  

One of my old dogs is in hospital with renal problems. I know that his time may not be long. 

An old friendship is being tested at the moment.  I am hoping for resusitation and not death.

I feel as if much around me is lying fallow, yet the leaves and the garden tell me otherwise.

I am contemplating my old failures and doing my best to turn them into something sweet.

I wish some days that  I had more to say, but I believe this is enough today. 

13 comments:

  1. Ah, the mistakes I've made.. eventually they all turned into lessons that have served me well.

    Feel better, Syd. Loved that poem, so true.

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  2. Very sweet. Brevity is the soul of wit~Shakespear. :)

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  3. saying a prayer for you today syd...

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  4. On a bad day I look at my life see that I have made decisions that have lead me to where I am today. Alone no kids no immediate family and no clear direction.

    On good days I think about the past and would never in a minute want to go back, even if I could. The future looks like and open road with unlimited possibilities.

    In the words of Monty Python " I am not dead yet" Anything is possible.

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  5. Ah, a dream like this is no error. How many visitations from the subconscious have inspired poets, scientists, and peacemakers.

    A book I am reading right now, "The Committee of Sleep," shares anecdotes and scientific evidence that demonstrate the role of the dream in problem solving. And of course, dreams assist us in seeing ourselves with compassion and understanding as this poem does.

    Thanks for sharing this, Syd!

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  6. Sometimes those contemplations can be prayers for new awakening, so I'll pray that for you as well, I have been in a space where I've not had clarity for a while and I just know change is coming, patience and practice of the principles in all areas I can ...

    Sometimes I think blah blah blah after that thought.

    Then you wake up and it's like a new wellspring, new glasses, new hope burgeoning :)

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  7. Easy does it today. Be gentle with yourself, just as you are to others.

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  8. You share what you have to give at the time, and that's enough. Hearing about your struggle can be comforting for those enduring their own.

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  9. youve had a busy and testing spell recently syd. health issues with C and her dad, all that extra responsibility. Its a lot. only natural that things seem to press down more afterwards. go easy on yourself. As long as I keep asking for help instead of being the person helping others then it seems to be ok. we all need others to help us along and listen to our stuff when it seems heavy or confusing. when u r as good as you are at helping others, it can be easy to forget that you need help too, and i am sure there are many that would feel privileged to lend a helping hand to you.

    nothing wrong with having less to say. but hope he struggle seems less soon. ajahn brahm says 'open the door your heart to 'the problem' ie. 'The door of my heart is open to you 'struggle', Welcome. Stay as long as you wish' :) ..type of thing.. this kind of acceptance often brings the internal wrestling to a slower pace till eventually it peters out.

    nice post as usual :) and thanks for kind comments re my dad :)

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  10. Thank you for sharing your pain. It is a reminder to all of us that every day is NOT full of contentment (despite our Al-anon or AA training)...but, we are so fortunate to know that it will pass and we have so many "tools" to handle these times.

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  11. You said enough. Hang in there.

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  12. *hugs* There is nothing I can say that doesn't sound cliche. Your honesty rocks.

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  13. Syd, the way you handle the hard days just adds to the respect I have for you. My prayers are there for you and your loved ones (dogs count, too).

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Let me know what you think. I like reading what you have to say.