Friday, June 17, 2011

Beyond making sense

Here are some things that are beyond making sense to me today:

I heard today from a friend that he and some fellow engineers found a dead dog attached by a chain to a dog house thrown in a dumpster behind their office. A dog lover, he is outraged. The police were called, but we don't know what the outcome will be. The dog, a German shepherd, will be autopsied.

A friend, sober some 20 years, is nearly broke and selling things to keep the water and electricity on. He won't look for a job. He gives a lot of reasons why he can't do things. He tells me to work my Al-Anon program and not worry about him. I have helped him in the past but am done with that. I can be a friend and give support without giving money.

I belong to a sailing group that has a Christian invocation and the pledge of allegiance before every meeting. There are non-believers and non-Christians in the group as well as other nationalities. Some of the old guard are not wanting to hear other opinions regarding just having a moment of silence. At one of the executive committee meetings, I suggested a moment of silence and almost said, "followed by the serenity prayer"--LOL.

One of the fellows I sponsor has decided to "blow off" working the steps. After several months of working with him, I find this out through another person.

I don't have any answers, but I do often have a lot of questions. Some things are simply not meant to be understood.

"Three passions have governed my life:
The longings for love, the search for knowledge,
And unbearable pity for the suffering of humankind.
Love brings ecstasy and relieves loneliness.
In the union of love I have seen
In a mystic miniature the prefiguring vision
Of the heavens that saints and poets have imagined.
With equal passion I have sought knowledge.
I have wished to understand the hearts of people.
I have wished to know why the stars shine.
Love and knowledge led upwards to the heavens,
But always pity brought me back to earth;
Cries of pain reverberated in my heart
Of children in famine, of victims tortured
And of old people left helpless.
I long to alleviate the evil, but I cannot,
And I too suffer.
This has been my life; I found it worth living."--Bertrand Russell


  1. a moment of silence followed by the serenity prayer sounds good to me. :)

  2. dude on the dog...that is sick...i hope they find the guy...good on you about the friend, you are right on how to support, and not to...

  3. the guy that wont look for a job is scarry.there are days that I wish i was able to work,I would.

  4. It's late and maybe I'm not thinking clearly but approaching tragedy along these lines has stabilized me before:

    Evil and offense exist in the minds and hearts of mankind. Goodness is needed to off-set it. Goodness depends on those who know to offer it. Those who know to offer it, are obliged to: to make things better not worse; and so that others may watch and learn. The obliged whose serenity is shaken by the evil, must reclaim it for their own good and the good of the world. There is no choice.

  5. Cruelty to animals appalls and outrages me. Love the quote from Bertrand Russell, that could be my credo.

    More tolerance will be needed as groups become more secular or ecumenical. We are learning that here in South Africa.

  6. detaching with love. And I'm not a dog lover, but this story made me sick to my stomach. I don't get cruelty to animals.

  7. sometimes, I just don't think we're meant to understand Syd...

    sad deal with the dog, wow... and good for you ccutting the cord on that friend who won't work. Disappointment on the sponoee, but all of this adds up to this:

    we can only carry the message, not the person!

    keep on keepin' on!

  8. Some days all I can say is, "Oh Syd. I am glad you are here."

  9. I don't belong to al anon, aa or any such group, however, I have family that are members and I am a former drinker, married to a heavy drinker and an adult child of alcoholics with alocholism running rampant in my siblings.

    Your comment "One of the fellows I sponsor has decided to "blow off" working the steps. After several months of working with him, I find this out through another person." bothered me. I feel that hearsay isn't useful when dealing with people, even when the source is extremely reliable. People who are recovering LIE and people please and still have huge unhealthy egos. These factors make it impossible to trust that they say what they mean to say. If you are the sponsor then I would think you are used to reading between the lines. Just my observation.

    I have followed your blog for a long time and I have learned a lot from you and your friends. Many thanks and I know I have so much more to learn.

  10. I've always wanted to know "why?" In Al-Anon, I'm learning to accept that there are going to be things beyond my comprehension, and that some of those will sadden or anger me.

  11. We always want people to be further along than they are. I also want to be further along than I am. Oh well. Practicing acceptance is a full time job.

  12. This is so timely, Syd. I am in shock over a situation that I can do nothing about and it is "beyond my capacity to make sense of it". It's always comforting to know that I am not alone in my feelings.

  13. Over the years, learning and accepting that there are things beyond my control concerning my loved ones, have by far been the hardest lessons I had to learn and cope with.


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