We got some rain finally last night. I think that everything human or not has heaved a big sigh of relief. I am still leaving the horse trough filled with water for the deer and other critters as the wetland near the house is just moist and not filled with water as it has been.
We have been getting a lot of vegetables from the garden because of irrigation. This is the first year that we have grown heirloom tomatoes. They are kind of purple looking but so delicious! I had to get used to the color though. After smearing a little Miracle Whip on them, they looked and tasted just fine.
At one of the meetings I attend, we have one topic a month that focuses on Al-Anon literature. Each month a different topic based on the literature is discussed. This past week, we discussed loss in relationships from Al-Anon's Opening our Hearts, Transforming Our Losses. It often feels lonely to be in a relationship with an alcoholic. There can be a sense of loss although the loved one is someone we see on a regular basis. Even some people who are in recovery may feel left out and alone and grieve for how the relationship has changed. It can be especially lonely in the first year of recovery.
I think that each of us has to figure out a way to get past the expectations of how we want another to be. I know that my feeling of grief about the relationship came from what I wanted my wife to do and say. Once I realized that I was not going to remake her, I was able to accept and be patient as her recovery process worked. There isn't an immediate evolution of the spirit for most of us. It takes time to evolve in recovery to be the person who is happy, joyous and free. And at that, it is still one day at a time.