I am so tired tonight. I started the day with helping a friend fill out a job application. He has been sober 21 years but can't seem to stay at any one job longer than two years. He is hoping to get a job unloading a truck at a nearby store. I made him a resume and filled out the on line application for him. Alcoholism took away his most productive years when he could have gotten an education. Now he is nearing 50 with a sketchy work history. This is a bad job climate to not be on top of one's game.
The other part of the day was spent taking my mother-in-law to a doctor's appointment. She lost another 8 pounds this month and is down to 107 pounds. The doctor was alarmed and insisted that she has to eat more. After the appointment and lab work up, I took her to a fast food joint for a combo of hamburger, fries and a soft drink. It may not be the healthiest thing but when it comes to calories, it must help. She said that it was the best hamburger she has had in a long time. I was glad that she enjoyed her lunch. It is such a small thing to do for someone.
The evening was spend at my home group meeting. There were a couple of newcomers in there. I could identify with a young woman who is an adult child of alcoholics. She said that she is ashamed of her parents and their drinking. Oh yes, I can identify with that. I remember the anger and the shame. The feeling that I was not good enough and would never be good enough was so strong for much of my life. And I understood the desire to be orderly and perfect because nothing else had any order and was far from perfect. We children of alcoholics understand each other. She said that her father tells her she will marry an alcoholic. I told her that she had come to the right place to realize that no one's fate is sealed. Her journey of discovering herself began when she stepped through the door. I hope that she comes back.
Finally, it is time to lie down and read a bit of Keith Richard's Life, along with the newspaper, and a few pages of Narcotics Anonymous. I decided it was time that I read the NA basic text. I have read the Big Book of AA many times but have never read any literature from NA. Someone told me that it was a modern re-write of the Big Book. I wanted to see for myself.
Me time, quiet time....the best few hours of the day. Good night all.