My mother-in-law was checked out at the hospital and released. Nothing was broken or damaged. She was happily eating a hamburger after she got home.
My wife will celebrate five years of continuous sobriety tomorrow. She is having some AA friends over for dinner. And she is feeling better. She has suffered from depression most of her life. It has not been crippling but nonetheless it has been there. In graduate school, before I met her, she was hospitalized for depression. She does take prescribed medication which has helped. I believe that the stress of dealing with aging parents on top of the trauma of a heart attack has been difficult. But she is cheerful today and looking forward to cooking dinner for her AA friends.
We are going to lunch today. I bought her a card yesterday for her AA birthday. I am grateful that we both found a new way to live that doesn't involve arguing, blaming, self-pity, and resentment. Five years ago today we were mired in those sick feelings, and I was ready to call it quits on our marriage. She would get drunk that afternoon, screaming and crying. I would feel sick and tired of the loneliness and the repeated horror show. I know that five years ago today was terrible. I believe that neither of us wanted to do what we were doing. We simply didn't know there was another way. Yet, we were on the cusp of something wonderful. We just couldn't see it then.
I am grateful for being together and growing together. I love her. I realize that it takes strength to get through the rough waters. I am glad that we rode out the storms. There will no doubt be more but all seems calm today. Thanks for being here for part of the ride.
Just catching up. Sorry about all this. I do appreciate your honest posts. Trying to move past the potential of a bad day here and knew one thing I could do for self-care was read your blog. Thanks for your consistency. Peace, Jo
ReplyDeleteI'm also glad my husband and I rode out the storms.
ReplyDeleteThere will be more storms, but ain't it good to know you got a friend.
i am glad the day is better and things are settling a bit...i hope that the celebration today goes well with your wife..pass on our congrats...
ReplyDeleteMuch to celebrate today. I will be thinking of the both of you.
ReplyDeleteCongrats to C. on her anniversary. I am so glad you two found a way to work things out and to live a good life together.
ReplyDeleteLove you, buddy.
Five years one day at a time. Just the fact that things have gotten better for each of you and for your relationship is worth the hard work. Best wishes to your wife for her five years of sobriety. Congratulations to you both for handling what could be very stressful, the continuing problems with your in laws.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad my husband and I have ridden out the storms too. It does get better and you do get stronger. I'm glad your mom-in-law is ok...and I hope C can feel on top of her game soon too. It sounds like having her AA friends over and cooking for them is a good start to that.
ReplyDeleteThank you Syd for faithfully posting and sharing your optimism and wisdom in recovery with all of us. You are a gift to each of us.
YAY for 5 years of progressive wellness :)
ReplyDeleteHow wonderful to celebrate the gifts of being in relationship with a fellowship of such awesome people and a new understanding of power and God.
:)
It is a wonderful gift I have given my relationship to be present and working a program to the best of my ability.
ReplyDeleteYou encourage me with your posts thank you.
I hope your wife's dinner tonight will be nurturing.
I'm glad that things have settled down for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to C! Five is a big one and I'm grateful that she has made it. Grateful because I know the difference it has made to your family. Grateful for the opportunity you both have to stay together and continue on your great love story.
ReplyDeleteIsn't it amazing the difference a day can bring? Please congratulate C on her 5 years. I know from experience how hard the journey can be ... but the rewards far outweigh the bumps in the road.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your blog ! So appreciate it
ReplyDeleteI am so very glad to know that your mother-in-law fell gracefully enough to escape injury. Thank God for soft hardwood floors, yes? :)
ReplyDeleteSyd, for some reason, I always thought that you and your wife had a long space between the storms of active alcoholism and now. I didn't realize that just five years ago things were still so turbulent. Knowing this magnifies your wisdom, in a way.
Happy Day to you and your wife. Enjoy yourself.
And the miracle continues in both your lives....how lovely, Syd. Congrats to you both...for sobriety and loving each other.
ReplyDeleteSo happy for you both!
I'm so glad us readers can be encouraging to you, Syd. Glad for 5 years and glad for no broken bones. God is good.
ReplyDeleteHappy anniversary to C :) !!! Blesser little cotton socks... Glad u guys are in a better place today. I'm glad the underlying love shone through. What a waste it would have been if two people who loved each other were broken apart by alcoholism. Love is a precious thing and I'm glad you two get to share it.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reading in our literature that reminds us that these feelings of doom and gloom are only temporary, and that they will lift. Hard to accept when I am in the throes of it, but it does go away. I can't afford to see a doctor about my depression, and I don't know where I'd be without the principles of this program.
ReplyDeleteI am always happy to hear when a couple are both happy in recovery together. It seems to be the exception rather than the rule. So often I get the feeling that our literature insinuates that if we change, the alcoholic will too. It runs contrary to principles of the Al-Anon program, but it seems as if 90% of shares in our CAL have that 'happy ending', where both find healthy recovery in their programs.
Makes it difficult and a bit confusing for those of us who have lost people we love to the disease. I know I shouldn't feel like I've failed, but...
Deepen deepen deepen as you ride these waves with C. Always glad for your spiritual insight and you real-ness, Syd....
ReplyDeleteSobriety is so goddam daily, my old sponsor used to say. Life happens, and sometimes the best we can do is trudge the road, mustering what faith we can at the moment, faith that joy and laughter will come again and fill our hearts to bursting.
ReplyDeleteI find my marriage to be like that too, and other long marriages I've seen. I thank God for the grace and mercy that gets us through the hard seasons, and love that commits itself one day at a time. Then come the seasons of richness, and we see how blessed we are.
May there be laughter in your lives this weekend!
I am in awe of the strength & courage you both had/have in each other & in yourselves....it is so comforting to see a couple weather the dark storms of this disease & come out alive!
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