Monday, September 12, 2011
I didn't feel sad or vengeful or entrenched yesterday in thoughts of 9/11. I am sure that if a loved one of mine had died or I had managed to live through the ordeal myself, I would feel differently. I know that my thoughts yesterday were about being grateful to be alive and appreciating all the beauty that surrounded me. I respect the feelings of those who want to cling to the past, no matter how painful it is. I revisit the past on occasion and find that it is not a place where I want to dwell.
I know that I feel solidly at peace today. Words that I read yesterday helped me to stay in balance. I am not a part of the "never forget" ideology. But I also feel sadness and compassion for those who still grieve. We are all grieving some loss. And like a tongue that goes to a sore tooth, we revisit those losses from time to time. I like this quote from L. P. Hartley, "The past is a foreign country: they do things differently there".
Tonight, I'll go to my home group meeting. Soon, my sponsor will be leaving for the other coast. I am coming to terms with that eventual parting. We have shared some profound things. And I see that continuing even with the move. It is not a loss, just a shift.
I think that we all shift in this life. And eventually we re-settle. Upheaval takes a lot of energy. The steady state eventually returns. I would rather have these quiet days that are open ended. Today my life feels steady. That may change in an instant, but in this moment I will revel in the steady and mundane things.