Here are a few things that came to mind today:
Whenever I am confused about people and what they do or what they say, I do my best to remember that they are imperfect and have shortcomings.
I don't often understand the decisions of others, but I will bet that most are predicated on either fear or ego.
People who decide to mind my business instead of their own must find me terribly interesting. I wish that I felt the same way about them, but for the most part what people do doesn't surprise me anymore.
I know that words can hurt no matter how much I may say that they don't. What's wrong with saying to someone who was mean, "I don't appreciate that"?
I sometimes feel like a nomad who is wandering and looking for a few kindred souls to join up with. Some days I find them in the rooms of Al-Anon and other times, I feel like an alien who just arrived from another planet.
I can wish for others to be someone that they are not, but all the wishing is not going to make it true.
Being around someone that you truly hate eventually becomes like drinking poison in small amounts. It makes you a little sick at first, but eventually the accumulation of all that poison will kill you in some way. I am glad to say that I don't hate anyone.
I sometimes think too much about what makes others tick. I need to wind my own clock and ignore the fact that they may be in another time zone entirely.
Trust is one of the hardest things to recover once it is chipped. It doesn't get put back together well because there is a shift, ever so small, that cannot be completely mended.
If you have nothing good to say about someone, what is the point in continuing to be around that person? Surely, I would rather be around someone I liked than someone who vexed the hell out of me.
I stay up way too late and think way too much about topics for which I have no answer. Good night all.
I have those questions myself Syd and sometimes my own reactions or hostility surprises me, I probe and find envy or some kind of masked anger lurking -- and when we finally see that, it is easier to deal with it. So many misunderstandings and so much time wasted in unresolved conflict.
ReplyDeleteI wish it were so simple.
ReplyDeleteSyd, lots of people are thinking you are the best!
ReplyDeletefear or ego. I'll bet you're right.
ReplyDeleteI feel like a nomad and an alien at times too...
So, did you have a difficult time getting to sleep after thinking of all of this?
ReplyDeleteLOL
Imperfect and have shortcomings for sure. Hubby sometimes look at each other and smile and say "we're only human".
ReplyDeleteWe make mistakes. We just keep trying to do better.
The issue of trust was such a tender subject for me personally that I could only join in on the outer discussions. The good thing is that trust can be mended as you say, with a tiny imperfection to go with the imperfect human idea of what trust is. Maybe that is why trust is not cherished and nurtured and honored.
You have wonderful thoughts and ideas at the end of your day. Clear thinking.
They are all thought provoking, but "wind my own clock" is the one I need to ponder today. Thanks.
ReplyDeletenice....some great thoughts in here...really like the one on not having something good to say...we have to make tough decisions at times to cut people out of our lives...
ReplyDeleteWe are all so...human.
ReplyDeleteLordy me, Syd - - - you have verbalized the emotions I experienced when I first embraced this loving fellowship. And, even within these hallowed rooms, I have found those who were NOT sympatico with me! I had to remember, 'principles above personalitie' but mostly it was helpful to remind myself that another person, place, or thing, had edged into my head, becoming and replacing my Higher Power. That was embarrassing to me (quietly - I hated to admit that I had to go back to Step 1). But, I did what I needed to do, and accepted the other individual (warts and all) - without any approval, which was not my job. Yes, I will avoid situations that make me feel uncomfortable, and I am okay with the decision.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you seem to be in a sad 'funk' just now -- - -but these feelings do pass, as long as there is something pleasant to replace them with. Or, I have simply gone into the shower and cried - very loudly - then dried my eyes - and all was better. After all, my HP provided me with the first aid of shedding tears for whatever reason, that helps dispel negatives!
Much love to you with a giant hug, too!
Anonymous #1
Thanks for your blog, Syd. I look forward to it and find comfort that someone else is asking the same questions. Also, my heart goes out to you about your sponsor's move. It is a loss, and experiencing the grief will open up a place in you for something new. I get so much out of reading your blog. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThis is the most, THE MOST, powerful post I've read in a long time.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many things I can point out that I relate to, understand, yadda-yadda but short of accusing you of climbing inside my head and more... =)
Have you thought about writing a book for the damaged survivors of alcoholics? You really have us figured out even if you think you're still questioning yourself.
I have learned more from you than anyone.
Such a good post today. I've always thought of this saying when I've heard my name has been dragged through the mud. "at least they're thinking about me."
ReplyDeleteI think you are a wise man, Syd.
ReplyDeleteI think saying "I don't appreciate that," is a fine idea.
You are dear to me.
SB
There is a benefit to coming to a point where isolation and solitude are prized ideals. It is not any easy journey but then if you only hang out with yourself most days then there is little cause for debate or dispute.
ReplyDeleteLot on your mind today my dear blog fellow. I am praying that the remainder of the week is a little less taxing. Hang in there.
ReplyDeleteI always find what I need to hear when I visit your blog. Thank you for writing.
ReplyDeletesomedays it's nice to have permission to accept that for some questions, there just aren't any answers. it's not that i can't find them, they just aren't there - so i've got permission to quit looking :). love your blog. it's my home page. thank you for having it!
ReplyDeleteThanks Syd Reading your post gives me insights.
ReplyDeleteSo many questions and quite a few answers too.
ReplyDeleteI think I am an alien.
ReplyDeleteI also agree that sometimes confronting someone when they say something mean is a good thing.
Sometimes my own ears twist things people say based on my own insecurities. Maybe that isn't what they meant at all.